A Fallen Angel's Cries

Special Dedications..

2009-05-14T22:46:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since my last time here, was wondering whether to let it die a natural death, where it slowly just fades away from everyone's memory, but decided to revive it again for a while at least..

It's been a hectic first 2 terms again, soccer, marking, timetabling and what not, and can't quite say that I coped well.. I can do better, I know.. Things have happened, some good, some bad, one really wonderful..

Soccer season finally ended, it was close, but not close enough, and honestly, I was really won over by the boys towards the end, where we really played attractively, but it was perhaps a step too high for us to reach.. Nevertheless, I'm really proud of what you guys have achieved, and especially to my keeper, it's been a joy coaching you, even though you still do give us heart attacks and heart aches at times, but it really fills me with pride, seeing you grow in stature and confidence, upping your game, and performing when called upon. At least you made me feel that all the time and effort, the sweat and the hours under the sun, were all worth it, and I hope that you'll take this with you in life, that if you have the belief, you will do it. Really appreciate the quiet thank you after the final game too, for that really warmed my heart. So, thank you too, Ras. I'll miss that silly smile of yours.

And thank you too, Khy and JX, for playing wonderful supporting roles, helping out, training. You guys take the tiredness away from a whole work day, and you'll never understand how great it feels to be there, with you guys on the pitch, diving, falling, laughing.. Especially JX, you are one clumsy oaf, and a constant source of entertainment.. Looking forward to *kicap* you when training resumes.. But on a more serious note, you have the potential, and I'm sure you'll do me proud come next year, so work hard..

So soccer's done and dusted, this season at least, not even sure if I'll be there for the next, I sure hope so. It's like my life blood in school, the one thing that I look forward to, even if it means Mon, Wed, Fri evenings are all taken up.. It's a feeling that I missed since my own training days, and this really gives me true joy..

On another note altogether, teaching has been good too, and though at times I really do feel jaded and feel like I need a change, there are still occassions where things just happen and it makes it all worthwhile again.. Thank you, especially, to the bunch of 08S19s, for you make it worth the waking up @ 545 every weekday morning.. There are times where you guys irritate the shit out of me, but I'm thankful still, for you bunch, and I know that I'll miss you too when it's time to leave..

I feel that I'm really drifting away from people at school.. colleagues especially, ever since the beginning of this year, when half the staff team disappeared.. I miss the weekly sessions on Thursdays, where the bunch of us would get together and play, and have dinner after.. You guys were a great team, and though we never really achieved much, it was still great to have played together, and we should really really get back again someday just for old times sake..

To the 4 "stars", it was great meeting up with you gals again, this time, for the first time, for dinner @ Kovan, where we got some unfriendly stares from the staff for staying too long, but hey, who cares, as long as we are having fun.. It's nice to be remembered, and even though I'm still unsure as to why I had such an impact, I'm glad I did.. Thank you, for remembering, and all the best, as you step upon your tentative steps in uni.. I'm sure each and everyone of you will do well, and I look forward to meeting up again soon..

Finally, to YOU, my baby.. This is for you. I thank you, for accepting me for who I am, "lame" and lame. Words will never be able to fully describe what I feel for you, so I guess you'll have to interpret them from my actions instead, and I hope I have lived up to expectations so far.. You have been wonderful, and perhaps, like you said, we were meant to meet.. It really just feels that right, and I hope it feels that right to you too.. Tmr's a big day, but I'm kinda looking forward to it too, just hope that I don't screw up.. *stress* lol.. I love you.

2009.. January..

2009-01-21T23:20:00.002+08:00

so 2009 is here without much fanfare.. the new year came and went in a quiet hotel on Catba Island, somewhere in Halong Bay.. how I wish I was back there again.. sometimes things in life just make you wish that you had a simple, carefree life instead, that even if it means not being able to afford the luxuries in life, you'd take it, no questions asked..

so well, I suppose you figure that the start of 2009 isn't exactly fantastic, that the first two weeks back at work has been.. demoralizing to say the least.. not the kids, they're great, I think, at least for now, but other things that have been happening..

busy as usual, maybe because I can't prioritize what needs to be done first, but well, that's really not in me.. just somehow always seem to want to give my all in all that has to be done, and that really, can be a weakness sometimes.. sometimes.. when things seem to overwhelm you and you just wish you would take a step back and decide that certain things perhaps aren't that worth doing after all..

I realise I do miss being in a classroom, standing there in front of the 20 or so who look expectantly at you, hoping that you perform miracles for them.. I'm sorry, but I'm no miracle worker, I do only what I can and I know I do have my own inadequacies which I try to make up for in other ways.. But the feeling of being back there, of seeing some of them finally seeing the light.. I guess that's what keeps you going, that's what's keeping me going at the moment..

And of course, training has been enjoyable thus far, though there's still so much more that needs to be done to get them ready by March/April.. But that's another thing altogether.. let's just hope that the time and effort put in will reap results..

As usual, I've gone on about everything and anything, without divulging much, but guess that's the way it is, that putting in words what you feel is comforting, yet you don't want to get into trouble, or more trouble than you already are in.. oh well, life's not great, could be better, but could be a lot worse too.. so yeah, press on, for those whose future seems not so bright.. for though it may not be that bright, it perhaps is already brighter than where you have come from, and for that, be thankful..

2008

2008-12-20T01:28:00.003+08:00

As the year draws to a close, perhaps it's time to reflect on what has been an exceptionally long year, or so it seems.. so many things seemed to have happened from last year till now, and as 2008 is about to become history, I just had this sudden urge to log in again and post..

frankly, so many things have happened this year, some good, some bad.. friends around me have things happening to them to, marriages, new relationships, break-ups.. at 28 really, when people look to settle down and all, it seems that things just get more complicated.. and it's not like getting married and settling down is the end of the story..

so well, congrats to those who have embarked on their new journeys, for those who have ended their journey one way or another, don't be too upset, coz new journeys are there waiting, new chapters waiting to be written..

school has been quite crazy this year too, workload was seriously heavy at times, but I coped.. not too well at times, and there have been occassions that have driven me beyond bearable limits, but I'm still hanging around.. thankfully or not, I'm not sure.. 08S19 has been a joy and a pain all at the same time.. don't think I've ever done so much for a class, don't think I'll ever do it again, but who knows.. this might be the first and last class that I see graduate from JC..

been talking to people.. the ones who have broken up are upset.. the ones who are attached are unsure.. emotions sure screw people upside down at times, and can be so fucking complicated.. really, why bother sometimes.. but yet, we put ourselves through all that.. is it because of social conditioning that we think that we must have someone to love, and have someone love us, and hopefully, to simplify matters, that the someone is the same person?

people have told me too that I seem aloof at times, "dao", not sociable, anti-social, that I do things rather "alone", and all.. and maybe, more and more, I do feel that way too.. i love being with my friends, my bros, but yet, even at times when hanging out, I feel like I shut myself off, i'm off in another zone of my own, and i do enjoy that solitary silence that i find.. i don't know..

there have been many things this year that I did and know I shouldn't have, but there were others that I was glad I did.. I think that's normal.. perhaps it isn't, but I don't really care.. i've always been more guided by emotions, and though this may be bad, it's not necessarily a weakness too.. so well..

ah.. another random post with random thoughts.. rather like the past couple of posts, if I remember correctly.. i don't know.. i'm probably just as confused in life as many of my peers are.. mid-life crisis perhaps? haha.. oh well.. 2009, here I come..

Random..

2008-08-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

juz had this overwhelming desire to blog.. to let things out, though I'm so far behind everything that I shldn't be here.. but who gives a fuck.. I'm tired, I need a fucking break, and really, yeah..

been busy the past couple of weeks/months, especially so in the past week where I had to prepare for lecture and all.. so yeah, gave my first two lectures, which were pure crap I think.. never been one who enjoys giving a lecture.. prepare slides, ok.. prepare slideshow, ok.. prepare notes, resource package, everything else, ok.. but not stand in front of 200+ people and talk.. it's juz not me.. but I have to do it..

early last week, a friend of mine sent an 'inspirational e-mail' titled 1000 marbles.. (read it here) which is basically about getting one's priorities right, especially in a world where everyone is busy with work and not spending enough time with the family and all.. was good and all, and it kinda inspired me to do something for the 14 kids, which I eventually did, on a whim.. something titled 35 sweets (not that original, but heck) and was meant to inspire them to start studying and all..

now that I think of it, I don't really know why I did it.. was it because I really wanted to inspire them, or was it because I felt that I haven't done much at all as a CT this year.. haven't really been that concerned about them, haven't really been following up on cases that I really should have, and therefore, hopefully, do something that eases my guilt a little.. I really don't know..

well, not sure too what kind of effect it would have.. hopefully, it'll be another source of inspiration for them to work hard.. somehow, though I haven't spent that much time with them, I feel quite close to some of them, not all, but some.. and I really really cannot imagine what would happen if the class is disbanded coz people get retained and all.. I haven't brought a civics class up to year 2 before, and it looks likely that I would, this class may cease to exist.. ha.. irony huh?

so well.. that's that.. been looking around at options.. JET program looks really cool at the moment, and may just tempt me, come next year, but that's really tentative at the moment.. do I really want to stay in teaching, or do I want to do something else totally different? I really don't know, and I really don't have the time nor the energy to entertain such thoughts at the moment.. sigh..

on another note totally, ever wondered if it pays to be nice to someone? it's like.. are you being nice because you are, or because you want to? and if it's coz you want to, is it that you simply want it to be appreciated, or that you want it to be reciprocated in some way? and if it's because you want it to be reciprocated in some way, but things don't go your way, do you then stop being nice, or what?

sometimes it's just so tiring.. true, there weren't any promises, but surely, it should mean something, or perhaps I should just not do anything anymore? sigh.. not a good time to be thinking of such things, when there's so much else to be done.. but how to help it? how to not think of it? sigh.. this sucks.. having emotions suck.. sometimes I really wish I can be emotionless again, shutting myself up back within that protective shell, not feeling, not caring.. but I'm afraid of that me, of being someone who doesn't care, who doesn't feel anymore.. coz if that's the life I have to lead, why bother?

so very random, so very dark.. but when there's no light at the end of the tunnel, what else would you expect but darkness anyway? ha.. fuck it.. back to the WRs.. many many more to go.. woohoo..

Distracted again.. and again..

2008-07-27T20:07:00.002+08:00

supposed to be doing work now, but ugh.. juz can't seem to focus on it.. doesn't help that it's due yesterday.. or a couple of weeks/months back.. but can't delay anymore.. so yeah.. gotta finish it.. but somehow.. juz decided to log in to post a couple of photos that I took during the week.. so well.. yeah.. another late night.. hah..
i think i deserve my panda eyes.. oh well..

Another photo..

2008-07-27T20:05:00.003+08:00

thought this was a rather nice photo as well.. yup.. (:

Doomsday!

2008-07-27T19:50:00.004+08:00

Photo taken during Road Run 2008.. Weather was rather horrible, but created a nice 'Doomsday' atmosphere.. ha.. (:

juz a random thought..

2008-07-22T00:30:00.003+08:00

sometimes in life, we think too much of the past, and we yearn for what we had, think of what might have been.. yet other times, we look to the future, picture what we want, and try to attain what may be impossible..

why not take a look at what's presently around you, and appreciate what you have, for what you have now, may not last, and yet may be the best thing that might be for you..

if you keep your mind closed because of what might have been, or what may be, things may never be.. stop and smell the roses.. the blooms will not last forever..

Term 3 underway..

2008-07-08T23:37:00.003+08:00

it's been some time.. but i was busy the past 2 weeks paying back for my indiscretion during the June hols.. so instead of doing 3 essay scripts a day, I paid back with like 15 a day, at least.. with sch in the morning as well.. so well.. that's done then, but still owe tonnes of other stuff that needs to be cleared.. ugh..

so, nothing new in my life really, other than the fact that jap classes started when term started.. kinda regretting it at the moment, what with the busy schedule and all, and classes take up 2 weekday nights, which leaves me with precious little.. ah..

met up with a certain bitch last nite, it was nice.. always nice to bitch with the THE BITCH, though bitchy is not that bad a replacement at times.. good to hear that you're well, and that you're doing ok.. I'm glad.. you deserve nice things happening to you..

so well, that's that at the moment.. I'm still entertaining thoughts of leaving actually, and I suppose this term and next will affect my decision at the end of the year, but now, I do feel that slight bit of motivation coming back, and hopefully, it will stay on for a while longer, long enough before everything else saps it away again.. *fingers crossed*

Travels..

2008-06-12T00:26:00.002+08:00

been a rather "hectic" week in terms of travelling about.. was away in bangkok for 4 shopping-filled days, which wasn't that bad really.. got a couple of things that I needed, and a lot more other things that I didn't need.. heh..

so upon my return, spent the next day in sch doing work and all before heading off for a movie, and then all the way east again for the chalet.. first night was alright, didn't do anything much but slept late still.. met up with 2/4 of the gals, though it was meant to be 3/4.. but that's alrite i suppose.. went back to the chalet after that, but not before heading off to the money changer.. bbq that nite was interesting.. the fire was great though.. haha.. best i've seen in quite some time..

next morning, rushed off for wee siong's ROM.. congrats! and then it was back home for a short while before heading off again somewhere.. caught another movie on sunday but went back relatively early.. that led to monday where i was at the airport early morning again, flying to perth..

been quite some time since i've been here, but i still like it here.. quiet, peaceful, and lovely weather now that it's winter.. being someone who'd rather freeze to death, i really quite enjoy walking ard in 10+ degrees weather in my jeans, t-shirt and slippers.. the rain's a little chilly though.. heh..

so well, will be here till next tuesday, but life's good.. and i think i might seriously consider looking for a job here come next june.. heh.. but till then.. yupz..

off to bangkok..

2008-06-01T06:27:00.002+08:00

yup, off to bangkok again for the weekend.. hoping that it'll be a good trip.. anyway, to rach, sarene, heidi.. would thursday be a good day to meet up? say for lunch around tampines coz i'll have to be back at work? arrange something and let me know k? =)

back in sch..

2008-05-29T00:23:00.004+08:00

was back in sch today to do work.. and I seriously did mean work.. been slacking since last friday, and I'd better get some stuff done before my "hectic" schedule starting from this sunday..

so well.. it was quiet in the room, it was really quiet.. but I'll get used to it, somehow.. and I coped pretty well I suppose.. I can get by, I'll juz have to hug the bitch while marking..

nothing much really, it juz felt good to actually get work done.. could have done more, but I'm glad.. so that being said, I sure hope I'll get more done tmr.. ugh..

I'm at peace with myself today.. unlike yesterday.. last night, was going through my older postings.. think they used to be of a much better quality than now.. now it's all emo and stuff.. I used to make more sense.. but ah well.. those were days where I still had energy to find inspiration.. these days, I hardly have the energy to drag myself to bed..

finally, thanks to all who have been so supportive these couple of weeks, with words, with actions.. like how I'll never truly understand what I've done for you, you'll never truly understand what all these mean to me, but suffice to say, it's more than you can imagine, so really, from deep deep within my heart, thank you. thank you.

Sch Hols..

2008-05-27T19:32:00.002+08:00

so sch hols started last fri.. you left last fri as well.. sent u home frm sch for the last time, not the last time I send u home I hope though.. u told me u teared.. I felt what u were feeling too, I understand.. but don't worry, I'm sure as you move on, there are better things awaiting you.. and for someone like you, you really do deserve a lot a lot more.. juz remember that I once told you that I may not be the first you turn to, but when you are faced with the last few people you can turn to, I'll be one of them.. ok, enough of that.. I'm sure you know what I mean by now..

have spoken to many students, ex-students who have seen my previous posts.. and have found many different sources of inspiration.. from them telling me how good I've been, how they've enjoyed my classes, how I've made a difference, even to someone who I didn't teach.. I guess that really does give me the strength to carry on, but for how long I wonder.. but thanks, to all who have been so encouraging, whether directly or indirectly.. thanks.

headed back to Prive last night.. still quite in love with that place, especially when there's no crowd.. the tranquility, the peace, the serenity.. the waves gently lapping on the pier.. the music again was kinda loud, but I'm used to that I suppose.. but it's been a long time since I last been there, and I found again what attracted me to that place again and again and again.. the night air was refreshing, the view was great.. sitting by the edge of the boardwalk, juz chatting away.. really, it was so comfortable, so relaxing, that I really really forgot the time.. so once again, to whoever you are, sorry for keeping you out that late, but you were really good company, so yah, yeah.. hah.. thanks. =)

juz finished reading The Zahir by Paulo Coelho.. meaningful book, really meaninful and beautiful, perhaps especially to me.. I seem to have my own zahir too, at different points of my life, they may be different, but the idea of it seems to be omnipresent in my life, and it's really interesting what the book talks about.. worth a read really.. especially if you're interested to read about love and all.. and discovering yourself.. shan't spoil it for you..

oh well, random ramblings again, but ah.. who cares..

GP MYE tmr..

2008-05-22T23:34:00.003+08:00

went to sch today feeling that there was something to be done, and when it was finally done, I was glad, glad that you liked the stuff I got. it wasn't anything much really, but I hope that it means something to you still.

exam paper sorting this week meant I was away from my seat for quite some time, and your consults also meant that you were away. didn't get to talk much though I dearly wanted to. but yesterday was nice, probably the last time you'll sit in my corner in "ice-land". I like that feeling, I really do, and I'll always treasure it.

GP MYE is tmr.. I hope my desperate attempts at fire-fighting in the past 2 weeks will work somehow, and that the skills I tried to impart will somehow rub off on my kids. I know I haven't done a good job this term, and there's so much more that I could have done, and should have, but didn't. I'm sorry.

felt so bad that I spent about an hour coming up with that sample AQ answer which I hope would help somehow.. hopefully, my kids will somehow get an idea of what I was trying to get across and be able to do something..

GP MYE is tmr, but frankly, I'm not really concerned. My mind's not on it.. how can it be, if thoughts of you constantly fill my mind.. I hope somehow that you'll think of me too. I may not be wonderful, but I hope I've been good enough.

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you'll be in my thoughts always, and you'll always have that special place in my heart, where not many have been, and where not many will stay.

sense of emptiness, sense of loneliness. I smile, but i cry inside. I joke with my kids in class, but it rings hollow within me. have this overwhelming urge to lay down and die. there's so much to do, so much I can do, but I'm so so tired, I just can't. I just don't want to anymore. Is this the sign? Can I just.. sigh.. Should I just.. sigh.. Maybe I should.. But yet I can't.. I'm dying inside, but can anyone see it? Can anyone feel it? but just let me be.. let it be..

Hold the Fort!!

2008-05-16T19:15:00.002+08:00

I left before 3pm today.. I'm amazed.. I haven't left college on Fridays with the sun still shining brightly for a long long time, since the beginning of this year I suppose.. It felt good, yet it didn't feel right.. There was this overwhelming urge to pull on my soccer gear and step onto the pitch, ready for yet another training session, but it wasn't to be..

Oh well, that time will come soon, and I'd better take the time that I have to catch up on marking, lesson preparations, and recharging my batteries.. Guess I'll have to "hold the fort" until someone suitable comes along, as my boss puts it, so "hold the fort" I will for now.. This is a weary battle, and somehow, the end is not in sight.. The only end I see, is the end for me.. ugh..

Dedicated to Individual-S

2008-05-16T00:26:00.002+08:00

We may not talk much when we see each other, but you're one of the few I always look out for when I log on. Thanks. It's always a pleasure talking to you online. It's really students like you who keep me going, and the things you tell me. THANKS, really. You'll never know how much it means to me.

What now?

2008-05-15T23:10:00.004+08:00

today was weird.. woke up feeling rather energetic, probably the fact that I slept early the previous night helped.. was juz so damn tired that I didn't mark anything at all, even though I got home super early.. but oh well.. at least I got my rest..

so well, as I was saying, felt rather energetic, but yet had that hollow, empty feeling in me.. So got to school with an "artificial high" or sort of.. day started off pretty fine, did some marking, then had meeting, then did some more marking.. which is amazing, coz I haven't done so much for so long.. yup.. been feeling that jaded..

then class was.. I don't know.. I felt good today coz I talked for almost 3 periods, non-stop.. not an ideal way of teaching, but i felt that sense of satisfaction rising in me again, that I was really giving my all again in class.. ok, maybe not my all all, but it's closer to the standard that I'm happy with, and that was a really good feeling..

maybe, just maybe, that little bit of passion left inside, which is still trying hard to burn, may spark into flame again, and get me going, but I'm really so so tired.. and after the class, I literally juz stood there for at least half a minute, too tired to consider what to do next.. And what happened next was that the feeling of emptiness just came back again.. Sometimes, I feel close to the students, yet at times, they seem so distant.. I don't know..

Seriously, I've never come to a point where I really consider if I'll be around after 3 years.. This is probably the first time, and I do remember telling myself that the day I totally lose that passion, that desire to go into class and teach, I'll quit.. I came dangerously close this past couple of weeks, and I don't know.. Should I, shouldn't I? What now?

Goodbye A Div 2008

2008-05-12T22:13:00.002+08:00

Today was the last match of our involvement in A Div 2008.. it's been a long journey, some of the guys I've been training/training with since last January, while others, last December, while some others, this year.. thanks guys, for all the effort, the sweat and the blood.. the season may not have been ideal, but I'm sure that you guys stood up to be counted like I asked you to some time ago..

It has been a great experience, great fun too training with you people, that crazy bunch who gave more than your fair share of trouble really, but hey, what's a soccer team that doesn't get into trouble once in a while? =p

So well guys, it's the end of the journey for many of you, and the return to the original one of the A Levels.. work hard guys.. much as you were important to the team, I don't wish to see you playing for me again in next year's A Div.. I would welcome you back to train with us, but please don't come back for another season..

Frankly, the sense of loss and the sense that something is missing doesn't just apply to you guys, it applies to me too.. I've been through the mud bath at Pasir Ris, the padi field at Tampines, the cat sh*t patch, and the new turf, and I'm going to miss it all as much as you guys will.. Only thing is, I'll go through it all again come November.. It'll be a new batch, and I hope they will be as outstanding as you guys have been..

And to my 3 keepers, 4 in fact, thanks for the great times and the memories, of times spent diving and sliding in the mud, of knocks, sprained thumbs, dislocated shoulders, basketball catches and of course, basketball soccer.. oops.. sorry sorry sorry hor.. =P

Thanks for the memories guys, from the other teacher who never talks much..

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

2008-05-11T02:44:00.002+08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Back maybe?

2008-05-10T03:18:00.003+08:00

It's been almost a year.. It's been a long time.. It's been a trying time, and still is.. Many emotions that were long kept away were relived in this past year, some good, some bad, many to be treasured, many to be forgotten.. One year is a long time, and yet, one year is such a short time too..

I don't know what got me back here again to start posting again.. perhaps looking at a certain someone's blog and how it somehow reaches out to me without actually talking to me.. perhaps I'm at the stage again where I need somewhere to park my emotions..

Been keeping a lot inside me, been bottling it all up.. The smiling face that greets you everyday is a front, and I suppose good enough to convince many that I'm fine, but I know I'm not.. I don't feel right.. I'm jaded..

Worrying thoughts.. recently I actually entertained the thoughts of leaving.. before my 3 years are up.. It's just the combination of so many things, things that happened, that are happening, that will happen, and there's really just so much that one can bottle away, and I think I've filled my fair share of bottles..

I'm kind of alternating between extreme moods, and the dark side seems to be prevailing a little more that the cheerful side.. so much so that people are asking me why I'm like wearing my grumpy mask, and someone even told me that she noticed that I've been smiling less.. Well, to be honest, I'm almost at a point where I can't even be bothered to hide how I feel anymore..

Ok.. very very random.. I don't know what I'm trying to say here, but that's really what's in me now.. Conflicting thoughts, and courses of actions that contradict one another.. perhaps the june hols will come in good time for me.. I hope..

Goodbye my lover.. Goodbye my friend.. You have been the one, you have been the one for me.. To you: Whether you see this or not,I really wanna just tell you that you can never imagine how your appearing in my life has helped me so so much, and I can't even start trying to relate that to you.. It's almost time for you to leave, and I'm happy coz you're off to a better place, but I'm really really going to miss you so so much.. Goodbye my lover.. Goodbye my friend.. You have been the one, you have been the one for me..

jaded - taking a break!

2007-07-02T10:41:00.001+08:00

Replies to tags:

Swee, Santona - both of you live further than me, so well, hah.. drop you off at my place and you find your way back from here huh? =)

Anna - camping in sch is not too bad I guess, but something that I would not want to do often.. I still prefer my own bed..

Del - tough love? heh.. I hope so too.. I'm at the stage where I'm prepared to be tough and not love.. nothing much to love about them..

Rach - yeah, I know.. Bedok South is the original one ma.. but it's like super packed la..

Sam-f - no idea leh.. just lost the motivation to do it..

yeah, as you can see, I haven't been here in ages.. somehow just lost the motivation to blog, nothing much in my life that's inspiring too, so well, do hope that with the start of Term 3, that rusty feeling will wear off and perhaps I can get started again and start posting yet again.. Till then, thanks for always being around..

Camping in School

2007-06-02T22:26:00.000+08:00

This is my second night in the conference room in school.. Interact camp going on.. Can't imagine myself spending Friday and Saturday night in school, but oh well, at least this is the last night.. So, nothing much really, just that I have time to spare here, so might as well do something constructive.. of course, I left my marking in the staff room, and another stack at home, so this is probably the most constructive I can be here..

It's been a hectic term 2 really, shouldn't have been too surprised by that, but somehow still was.. but at least it's over, and it's time to look to term 3 for a fresh beginning.. which I hope it will be.. was feeling kinda worn out and jaded by the last 2 weeks of Term 2, getting short tempered, flaring up at students and all, which never really happened before (as my ex-students can attest to), and is something which I hope never happens.. but well, tough love I guess..

Time to clamp down and get tough.. No choice.. Promos are coming and if they don't buck up in Term 3, it will be too late.. and I really don't want to have to face people to explain why my student should/shouldn't be promoted.. So well, let's see what I can do then.. =)

Updates?

2007-05-27T00:40:00.000+08:00

hmm.. it's taken some time, but term 2 is finally over.. sure has been a hectic term, first time being civics tutor, first time doing PW, first time going through A Division soccer.. wow.. and I thought last year was a busy year.. =)

so thoughts of the term.. firstly, I think my GP lessons have become boring, and students are dying.. either that or they are just plain not interested.. seem to have more fun last year with my other students, but that could also be due to the fact that I had more time to plan my lessons.. not that I don't plan now, just that I don't have that much time to be creative.. sigh..

one month hols ahead, many people are complaining that it's not a holiday at all, what with all the work and everything else, but I won't complain.. a break is a break.. each weekday that I don't have to wake up at 545 is a blessing indeed, so I think I'll take whatever there is and appreciate it..

oh.. got my car too.. haven't taken any pics though.. so if you're interested, just go to the Toyota website and take a look at the new Vios.. save me the trouble of taking pics.. perhaps I should just go there and download some pics instead.. so nothing much about that, nothing much that's happening..

hope I'll be able to catch some rest this hols, and recharge.. term 2 has really left me kinda jaded, and I'm like flaring up at students rather more quickly than before.. is it them or is it me? but the ride out to sea at the Navy Open House was rather good, sort of calms the nerves though the choppy sea made me a little jittery.. hah.. and oh.. I saw the water spout thingy while out at sea too.. quite a cool sight, but wasn't bothered to take photos..

so well.. hope that everyone out there who has a school holiday will appreciate it, though there's lots of work to be done too, but do make the most of it to get some rest too yeah? cheers!

Nice Song..

2007-04-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

hmm.. might be really slow, but just heard and noticed this song that's playing in the background recently.. beautiful song, beautiful lyrics.. just the perfect song to listen to when you're emo.. can really bring tears to your eyes.. haha.. =)

A title is a line of words that appear here..

2007-04-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

yes, haven't been around in the longest time, if you actually bother to look at the dates.. I would assume that people don't come here daily but only once in a long while and somehow don't notice that I have not updated in ages, but I assume wrong I guess.. I guess I must make it a point not to make so many assumptions, but when I guess, I make assumptions again right? so well..

talking about assumptions.. why do students make so many assumptions when writing essays or writing PIs? been reading/marking essays and PIs and the first thing I realise is the number of sweeping statements and assumptions that are made in these and I wonder why.. but then again, did I use to do this in the past? can't remember, but don't think I did much of it..

hmm.. so you probably gather by now that my life's like dominated by marking, but hey, it's not just that man.. I'm also involved in A Division soccer matches, training, my in-service course, and god knows what else there may be.. to summarise, f***ing hell of a lot of things.. but it's all part and parcel of life, so just have to take it in my stride and go on..

so, things are not made better by the fact that I was sick for almost the whole of last week, but thank goodness, I'm back to normal now, I hope, and should be able to carry on from where I left off, though I think I do need to speed up a bit more..

well, back to marking now I guess, maybe not.. it's time for soccer training, and it's raining.. great.. cheers!

Can someone help me think of a darned title?

2007-03-27T15:42:00.000+08:00

Finally realised why my previous post was so unclear.. forgot to change the font size to large and therefore, it was too small.. and I thought it was a problem with my eyes..
so well, after getting that cleared up, I thought I might as well post something since I have already taken the effort to log into blogger.. but then again, I am faced with the problem of not knowing what to post about..
lessons have been going on, so too soccer training.. so days in school have been long, and rather tiring as well, but still coping I guess.. gp is now kinda structured and still needs getting used to, while PW is fine, interesting too, but will take time to really get into the groove of it I would say.. which essentially means the same thing as "needs getting used to", just that it's paraphrased.. haha.. teaching moment there..
so, occupational hazards aside, speaking of which, I was so tempted to use a red chalk to circle a mis-spelling I saw at a cafe the other day, life has been pretty mundane, what with getting to school about 7 and leaving about 8, making that 13 hours in school when there's soccer going on.. doesn't really leave much time left for anything..
A Div soccer is starting soon too, next week in fact, but fixtures have been voided and currently waiting for the new fixtures to come out.. the guys are all working hard, I think, and hopefully they do well.. can't comment much about it, haven't really seen all the teams in play, but oh well, all the best, and make sure you give maximum effort..
so, which now leaves me with just one last thing to do.. I can't think of a darned title.. so it shall be..

Updates?

2007-03-20T12:58:00.000+08:00

hmm.. really been a long time, no wonder people are complaining that my blog is rotting away.. I think I am rotting away as well too, not just my blog.. oh well, one week break has come and gone, and really, I think I wasted that one week not doing work and all, but then again, there wasn't anything much to be done then..

so what has happened since the last time I posted? Not quite sure if I remember what exactly happened, but the most significant would probably be the end of the first intake and getting new students who will be with me for the rest of this year at least, and being CT for the first time.. don't know about that at the moment, so will wait before commenting on that..

thatz all for now I guess.. lessons in about three minutes time, so gotta rush.. hey, at least I updated ok.. now stop complaining.. !!! =)

Reply to tag - Arts Faculty??

2007-02-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

hmm.. another post on the tagboard that requires a long answer, so well, here goes.. even though I have no idea who zhonghua eliot is.. only vaguely recall I have like close to 40 students in that class..

alright, firstly, congrats for the A1.. don't quite understand what you mean exactly when you say 'arts faculty'.. do you mean JC arts fac or Uni arts fac? if it's JC arts fac, there really isn't much problem I guess, unless you plan to pursue a science related degree in Uni, which would then put you at some disadvantage, or perhaps even prevent you from taking up a certain course because of pre-requisites.. quite simply put, arts fac in JC is ok if you're not thinking of going into science or engineering I suppose, and looking more towards arts and social science, business, law etc..

hope that makes sense so far.. if it's arts fac in Uni you're talking about then.. hmm.. take up teaching after you graduate.. haha.. =P that's where I am now.. other than that, an arts degree, being a general degree, would probably mean that any job that requires a specialised degree in a particular area would be hard to qualify for.. but then again, there are other areas that you can look into as well.. so for english and lit, perhaps journalism, or media-related areas? public relations? advertising? publishing? and of course, any other job that requires a recognised degree without mention of a particular specialization..

honestly, don't think I can really help much in this area as I came straight into teaching after graduating, but personally, I feel that having an interest in what you're studying is very important as well, because it really keeps you going.. if I had taken up a science course after my 'A's, I'd probably have hanged myself years ago, so well.. weigh up the prospects and personal interest when making your choice ya?

so after all that, I hope I made a little sense at least and helped in whatever way.. hmm.. so who exactly are you and where are you headed for? =) and hey, I like this font a lot, so even if it's unfriendly for reading, you just have to bear with it.. teachers put up with tonnes of unfriendly fonts for reading too you know.. =P

Where to?

2007-02-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

so, the results for 'O's came out last Friday, some did well, some did not.. but that's all over.. the important thing is to make a decision regarding what comes next.. and it is indeed an important decision for some choosing between JC and poly..
many kids have come up to me asking whether they should stay in JC or go to a poly because they feel that they can't do well for GP.. others have come up with questions like.. "Is TP better than MJ/YJ/NY/SR..?" or questions like.. "I heard you're from CJ.. is it really very slack there?" and so on.. quite frankly, I don't have an answer to all those questions at all.. I mean, who am I to judge whether this JC is better than that JC? if I were to say that another JC is better, am I implying that I'm a lousy teacher then? and why would I want to do that? and would it then be fair for me to tell them to stay in TP just so that I have better students?
so, it's really hard I guess.. and really, what can one say? so I tell them, no matter where you end up, as long as you believe in yourself and your ability, and you have self-discipline, I'm sure you'll do it.. eventually, the two years in JC are just stepping stones to a university education, and as long as you get to Uni in the end, JC education has served it's purpose.. no? of course, doing well opens up more choices to you, and therefore, it is important to achieve good results too, but there are no gurantees that being in a top 5 JC will gurantee As in all subjects..
it's a tough decision I guess, thinking of one's own future, while parents are "encouraging" them to go to another JC instead of this one, friends who are going elsewhere or staying.. but the choices have to be made, and lived with.. so well, decide well, and make the most of whatever the outcome.. all the best and have a happy valentine's day! =)

Sudden Realisation

2007-01-31T08:46:00.000+08:00

it suddenly dawned upon me that my blogging style has changed.. the things I write about have become so mundane, and I've become so much more conversational.. nothing much.. just realised and thought I would like to share..

ever wondered how your blogging style has evolved too? and what were the factors that caused the change? kinda interesting, don't you think? =) cheerz!

Mindless Ramblings..

2007-01-31T08:24:00.000+08:00

my time-table for now is kinda weird.. have only 2 classes currently and it is really light and I'm not complaing.. it's just that I start lessons after 11 on 3 days and it's weird.. I come on before 7 usually and I have like 4 hours to burn every morning and I don't know what to do.. and therefore I blog..

of course, I spend the time preparing my lessons for the day, but there is only so much that one can do in terms of preparation right? and there is a limit to what you can surf and look at I guess.. the same websites start to get boring after your 3,000,000th time looking at it in the past 30 mins, if you get what I mean..

so well, been doing some excel spreadsheet thingy for now, and somehow enjoying myself, even though it's like tedious work, 'cause at least I'm doing something that is constructive and not wasting my time, and also because I learn new things along the way as I'm exploring it.. I can't believe I made Microsoft Excel sound so interesting, but trust me, on a computer without games, even Excel can become interesting.. and I have not even started on Powerpoint yet ok.. =P

so now, as I mentioned in my prev post.. my days are not v occupied, but my time after 430 is crazy.. mostly soccer, but still crazy.. perhaps I should use that as a reason to request that I come in for work at about 10 on days that I don't start early.. haha.. wishful thinking..

basically I'm bored now with nothing much to do as I'm waiting for some confirmation on the excel thingy, but want to pretend that I'm busy on the computer and therefore I'm trying to type as much here as I can, but I don't think I'm making much sense anyway.. so let me think of something to talk about then..

hmm.. how about my two new classes? well, can't complain, at least they aren't that bad, find that as with most Singaporean students, myself included, they aren't that participative in class and somehow I must continue to find ways to get around that.. which is really easy to say but well.. frankly, I wouldn't mind having this bunch for the rest of this year as I quite enjoy having lessons with them, but lessons now are relatively light as well and therefore more fun I guess..

the soccer guys are funny too, and entertaining at times, and I kinda enjoy the training sessions even though I feel so damn old when I look at them train.. that youthful exuberance, the seemingly inexhaustible supply of energy.. looking at them reminds me of the time where we could play 2 soccer matches in a day and yet be so energetic.. nowadays, even walking to the field makes me tired.. haha.. -)

oh well, there's only so much that one can crap in a day without being found out, and I'm like dangerously close to that limit now, and lest I lose another of my already pathetic viewership, I'd better stop now and just shut up.. stay tuned though.. at least till the second intake.. =X

Soccer Training and What Nots..

2007-01-24T08:19:00.000+08:00

hmm.. haven't exactly been very busy recently, but just haven't had much to blog about I guess.. lessons are fine, relatively light compared to last year where I had 4 GP classes (only 2 now!!), and my two classes are rather good as well (I hope that remains) and no complaints as for now..

the other thing I've been really busy with would be soccer I guess... soccer training with the students on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, kick-abouts with colleagues on Thursday and my team on Sunday.. sounds like a packed professional schedule man.. hah.. but well..

soccer training with the students has been good.. so much so that I go down on Tuesdays even when I don't have to.. but since I'm relatively free these days, I don't really mind.. and it gives me more time to work with my goalkeepers too, which is good.. and I do miss the training sessions that I went through ages back as well, and these sessions actually do help me find that feeling again..

well, nothing else really happening in my life at the moment actually, especially like last week where I never got home before the sun set.. after leaving home before the sun rises.. so I hardly ventured anywhere and spent time mostly at home.. but at least there's the ASEAN Cup on tv these days.. not that it's really exciting (well, the commentators make it seem really good, but well..), but hey, it's not the EPL man..

I just realised that this whole post has been randomly going on about soccer and soccer and soccer.. and I probably sound like someone with no damn life.. well.. perhaps.. =P

Why does my title always end with a "?"?

2007-01-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

This is a post in response to Swee's tag.. because I think I can't explain myself in the limited space provided in the tag board.. so well, here goes..

hmm.. actually, I wonder too.. why does my title always end with "?"? and frankly, I've never given it any thought until you brought it up.. I guess that it's because I always start off by wanting to talk about something.. Taipei for example, and will go on and on about it, but eventually, I end up being unsure about whether I'm still talking about Taipei, or whether I'm already talking about something else in the post, hence "Taipei?" rather than "Taipei!".. if you get what I mean..

in other instances, like "back to work?", the "?" is there because I don't really know whether I'm really back at work or not, and perhaps, it's more like I'm not ready to accept being back at work? haha.. but yes, again, a certain level of uncertainty here, but yet, it's different from the first instance, because in the first, I start off knowing what I want to talk about and am unsure of how it proceeds, and in the second, I start off not knowing about what I want to talk about, or even if I know about it, I want to not know about it..

this can probably go on and on, but I don't want to drag further and start confusing everyone and myself.. so well.. there you go.. part of the reason why my titles all end with "?".. Swee, hope that answers your question!

and since I'm here by the way, let me just update from where I left off the last time.. Christmas was just over, and New Year around the corner the last time I was here.. my first few hours of 2007 was action-packed.. long long story, long long walk too.. but that should be a good start to 2007 I guess.. following that, school started and so too the waking up early, but getting used to that now.. CCAs for this year, soccer and interact club.. started soccer training already.. enjoying it, but also realising that it's super tiring.. hah..

lessons haven't officially started, probably next week, and been doing lots of admin stuff at the moment that really bores me to tears but have to do anyway.. latest news is that I do not have a CG, and hopefully that stays the same even after the second intake.. haha.. =P

yup, so that brings you up to speed with what is happening in my life at the moment, and until the next time.. which might be when I feel like it, or someone asks me a question which I never considered myself.. ciaoz!

Back to work?

2006-12-28T08:33:00.000+08:00

After Taipei, after my birthday celebrations, after the Christmas "countdown party" at Trader's Hotel, it's back to work.. 830 am on a Thursday morning, in sch now, waiting for staff meeting to begin.. time to get started again, though I guess it's gonna be real hard for the first week or so, what with getting used to sleeping at 5/5+ am and waking up at 1/2 pm.. sounds like a complete reversal of waking and sleeping times..
oh well, back to work, back to work.. Let's all wish for a good year ahead.. for J2s, work hard, J1s, enjoy JC life, for the rest, eh.. best wishes? yupz.. (=

Taipei?

2006-12-18T13:56:00.000+08:00

hmm.. been back for about a week or so already.. in between then and now, I celebrated my birthday, well, sort of, and the rest of the time was spent vegetating in front of my comp/tv/bed.. very constructive..

so well.. what did I do in Taipei? hmm.. day 1 - touched down late becoz of some delay, checked in abt 3+ or 4.. after which went ard Xi Men Ding area to look for food, settled at some noodle store.. spent a little more time there before going on the Shilin Night Market for food and shopping.. didn't get much stuff but food was pretty alright..

day 2 - happened to be election day for mayor in Taipei and Kaoshiung, so we popped by to the nearest polling station (some primary school) to take a look.. ended up at the wrong entrance, but we found this small museum (if you can even call it one) which basically traced the history of that very primary school and the development of education in Taiwan.. turned out that it was rather a gem of a place, and not forgetting that it was good for photo-taking.. haha.. went to the polling station after that.. nothing much to note there.. so we went on the another museum.. the National Taiwan Museum if I'm not wrong.. and that was pretty cool too.. went hunting for lunch after that, and found this place that really does take-aways but had a seating area upstairs.. so we went in and I must say it was good.. and worth the money.. we then took the mtr to Wu Fen Pu Wholesale Centre and spent some time shopping there.. loads and loads of clothes and shoes, all at rather attractive prices.. following that, went over to Rao He Night Market, which was good too.. went for dinner/supper at some shop in XMD before settling at this small "pub" near the hotel for some drinks before going back to zzz...

day 3 - headed to Jiufen, so took a 1hr+ bus ride up the mountains.. was raining when we got there, so got a little chilly, but still fine.. walked through the winding alley and took in the sights and sounds of the streets.. only thing was the puddles on the ground and the umbrellas poking my head as we squeezed through.. lots of food available, but we never really sat down at any to eat.. bought Tai Yang Bing (sun biscuit?) and Feng Li Su (pineapple tarts?) there and ended up with many big bags of stuff.. oh.. and David ended up with nearly 1kg of tea leaves.. haha.. and I think we all drank too much tea at the shop as well.. so we headed to Miao Kou Night Market at Keelung.. took a bus and got off at the wrong stop.. was supposed to get off at Keelung train station, but we got off way earlier than that, and eventually, we took a cab to where we wanted to go.. spent some time there, and also had dinner before we took a train back to Taipei main station and transferred to the mtr to go back to our hotel.. came out again later looking for supper, and ended up at another one of the shops in XMD area.. went back to the same pub before heading back to hotel..

day 4 - took the mtr to Beitou station and transferred to a mini-bus which took us to a hot spring resort.. being a Monday, there was a discount, so we paid $50 for a private room for two for an hour.. and it also came with two free hours in the public bath or use of the resting area.. so off we went into the private bath, and woohoo.. water was like 41 degrees? so I can imagine the poor fishball and why it bounced around in boiling water.. it took a while to get accustomed to the water and it was rather relaxing.. but it was like too hot that day to really enjoy coz the sun was shining really brightly as well.. so headed back to Beitou station and had Macs there before going to Danshui and making our way to Fisherman's Wharf via public bus.. managed to catch the sunset there, which was really quite beautiful.. we then made our way back to Danshui via ferry.. headed to Shilin to do some last minute shopping.. the girls managed to get their nails painted there too.. david and i played touch master.. haha.. dropped our stuff off in the hotel and went for dinner/supper at about 1am.. found this place which sells balls.. fish balls, sotong balls, meat balls.. whateva balls.. and it was quite good.. went back to do packing after that..

day 5 - last day.. sigh.. time flies.. confirmed our bus to the airport, checked out abt 11, headed for Taipei 101.. super super high class man.. walk on the floor with my Birks also the floor squeak.. haha.. so we went out and searched for david's comics.. ended up at a Eslite bookstore in one of the shopping centres and asked for directions to the high Eslite there.. looked more like a library than a book store to me man.. so we spent some time there before cabbing back to hotel.. boarded the bus and was stuck in the mother of all jams on the way to airport man.. I thought we were not gonna make it, but damn.. we did.. but realised we were at terminal 1 instead of 2.. so took a shuttle bus.. finally boarded the plane and got back to Sg at abt 11? yeah.. and that was that..

and so that ended my taipei trip.. which was quite enjoyable I must say.. and well, looking forward to next june/dec for the next one.. hmm.. where to next?

Catching up?

2006-11-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

hmm.. currently sitting in the staff room at my seat.. came back to return some scripts to my boss and kinda left with nothing to do, rather, nothing that I would want to do now.. but it's kinda dumb to go back 15 minutes after I get here, so might as well do something constructive, and do something that I have not and should have done a long time ago.. which is to update.. hah..

so well.. what has happened in my life since the last post? eh.. lemme see.. went for S14's chalet/BBQ which was fun.. the food was good, the company was so-so.. haha.. I'm joking.. it was great fun and a pity I didn't stay later, but well, it's better to leave the kids to do what they do best - have fun.. and also.. it was like.. when I stepped in there and started looking for the chalet, it was like students everywhere, and suddenly, I juz felt super super old.. and I don't really recall having that kind of fun when I was a student myself.. why I wonder..

so that's the chalet.. then the newbie teachers (well, mostly newbie I suppose) went for this 1-day trip to Batam.. wasn't anything much, but again, it was fun becoz of the people who were there.. a great day spent with the colleagues, even though there really wasn't much to do.. we even played an hour of pool there.. hah.. pool freaks who must play pool wherever we go I suppose.. and so, that was a rather eventful day too..

then there was the end of invigilation, which was ok.. coz invigilation wasn't anything that bad once you get used to it.. and you get paid for that as well, so that's pretty good.. but next year, I'll be doing PW I guess (actually I Know), so well..

hmm.. what next? oh yeah, Simon's farewell dinner thingy which was at Furama Riverfront.. which happens not to be the Furama at Chinatown, which many found out too late.. but ah.. that's another story for another day.. but the dinner was alright, food was good, tributes were fine, and guess that's that.. another new boss, another chapter in the story.. hope it'll remain ok though..

so after all that, what else? hmm.. mag's wedding last saturday at Hotel Rendevous.. congrats if you're somehow reading this.. then that's all I guess.. oh ya, my sis's back in Singapore to terrorise me.. that kinda spoils the holidays.. haha.. =P

replies to tags:
rach - hmm.. finally it's over huh? enjoy your well-deserved break, charge up your batteries for a more demanding jc life.. (=
sarene - yes, my dear girl, I do play soccer.. in fact, I think i've been playing soccer ever since you were born.. or maybe even before that.. that makes me sound damn old.. =X
santono - yup, going taipei.. 8th dec.. and batam.. well.. i described it above.. perhaps you should be our tour guide next time and show us around.. might be better..
shan - tickle your head ar.. haha.. ELMO.. =P
kaile - well, money's good but that's not my main motivation, so doesn't really matter.. you get what I mean..
swee - bring u all go party? wat for? you guys already party more than me.. haha.. (=

Waiting for something?

2006-11-08T12:55:00.000+08:00

in sch now, at my desk, staring at the computer, waiting for the southpark clips to load on youtube.. waiting for my boss too.. been here almost 3 hours ago, still here.. sigh..

life's rather boring.. nothing much is happening.. i think i need to find something new to do.. like eh.. learn a new language perhaps, or er.. no idea wat.. play a new game? hmm.. but knowing me, i'll probably still end up playing soccer, CM, pool, billiard.. the usual.. coz i'm like juz too lazy to do something new.. will probably pop down to the library to get more books again.. that "double your reading" thingy for sch hols is on again, so thatz good..

hmm.. will be in Taipei exactly one month from now, and will probably be touching down at almost exactly this time too.. looking forward to that.. haven't really planned much though dear dear has looked at so many webbies that she's probably some closet expert by now.. hope it'll be good though.. and that the weather doesn't spoil things..

oh well.. life's really boring.. haha.. and waiting for something to happen, even more so.. *sighz*

Inter JC Staff soccer..

2006-10-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

juz had the soccer tournament today.. started off really badly with the rain pouring down like crazy, but luckily, it stopped and we could continue with the games..

guess we didn't do too badly considering this was the first time we were taking part, but not making it past the round robin stage was rather disappointing too.. oh well, at least it was fun, and an enriching experience, not to mention a good workout.. hah..

had dinner at simpang with the guys after that, and we kinda arranged for another session for thursday after invigilation at MJ.. hope my body would have recovered by then.. aching all over now man..

hmm.. guess this kinda "report what you did today" thingy isn't what I'm really cut out for.. which explains why this post seems rather nonsensical.. in my opinion.. oh well.. think I'm updating for the sake of updating again.. and as usual, I absolutely hate that.. ciaos..

Lost it?

2006-10-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

is it fair to have different expectations? should we have higher expectations just because one is more well-behaved than the other? I don't know.. thatz what happened today, and i guess it was really that much more disappointing becoz i expected so much more, but am wondering now if it is fair.. afterall, they're just 16/17 year old kids who have an A level exam to be concerned about..

well, still wondering how i lost my cool today, and seriously, why.. itz not my problem afterall, and itz not my future.. am i that attached that i got carried away? should that be happening? used to pride myself for being able to draw that line between work n personal life, but somehow.. oh well..

frankly, i wasn't a tiny bit angry at all, but juz really disappointed, and somehow got really emo abt it.. maybe coz i was tired today.. maybe coz it built up from the morning.. maybe coz it was s14.. whatever it is, it's over, and i should just let it go.. punish the deed, not the person.. how true.. let's see how it is on friday then..

Updates?

2006-10-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

hmm.. been out and about since the marking and analysis ended, and haven't really got to rest much.. but well, so many people have been asking me to update that I think I should.. but where do I start?

how abt saturday morning where I was playing soccer and somehow was tripped and ended up whacking my head on the ground? the headache and the puking feeling that I had all afternoon was quite fun, made me think for a moment that I was suffering from concussion or some other shitty thingy.. but it wasn't that bad.. guess it was juz a lack of sleep, and too many people..

sunday morning was dumb as well.. played soccer again, and we were like dying in the sauna-like haze, so stopped after some time.. went KV after for billiard.. den back home before heading to Atrium for some vietnamese dinner thingy coz Charles jio-ed.. following that, went down to Ice Cold and basically rotted there while the rest drank.. the chicken wings and wedges were good though.. hah.. and so that ended my most eventful sunday for the past 3 years I guess.. i usually spend my sundays playing soccer, sleeping, and watching soccer.. hah..

so well.. monday was fine.. bumped into kenneth at my coffee shop.. kinda coincidental.. i don't eat at that coffee shop much so.. evening, met up with david to get details for the taipei trip.. nthg much was agreed coz there was still so much to check up on, so well.. hah.. went pool fusion after that for a few rounds before heading home..

looking forward to the trip, though it's still like another month or so away.. hope that it'll be good this time around as well.. am now hunting for hotels in taipei that are cheap n good.. any recommendations?

New Taggie..

2006-10-13T23:43:00.001+08:00

got so sick n tired of waiting for that f***ing thingy to fix itself that I decided to get rid of it.. yes.. goodbye, so long, farewell..
so now, tag on.. tag on.. *crapz*.. feeling lousy today..

Another personality test?

2006-10-11T22:39:00.000+08:00

Your Working Style

You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When you are care, you care deeply, but are more likely to show your feeling by deeds rather than words. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people you care about.

You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve.

In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give and inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.

You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words.

You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are perfectionists whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability.

The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself.

It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed.

TGIO - Thank God It's Over..

2006-10-10T14:49:00.000+08:00

Marking's finally over.. after the past 3 weeks of almost continuous marking, from class assignments to promo exams.. oh well.. phew..
hmm.. hope I can breathe easier now that everything is sort of over, and the year's winding slowly to an end.. how fast it is.. 2006.. *poof* gone..
well.. nothing much to say really.. mind's a blank.. only silly logic from essays I've read that keeps bouncing around in my head.. argh..

Of markers and memories..

2006-10-06T10:17:00.000+08:00

alrite.. am in the midst of marking essays but just need to get this off my head coz it's been pestering me for the past few days..

as you can see from my msn nick.. "Why are good memories written with a whiteboard marker, while bad memories with a permanent marker?"

there's a continuation to that.. "At least the permanent marks can be gotten rid of with the help of a whiteboard marker.. Can you ever erase bad memories with good memories?"

I wonder.. permanent marks require you to go over them once with a whiteboard marker to be erased, but how many good memories do you need to erase one bad one? or is it even possible?

think this GP essay thingy is getting to me.. might be a good holiday essay assignment though.. "Can bad memories ever be erased completely by good ones?" - define memories, define good, define bad, define erase, take note of the absolute term 'completely', blah blah..

whatever la.. I'm wandering from my initial task of marking, from my intention of creating this post, but yet I'm not lost.. hence, "not all that wander are lost".. =P

Reward: One Million Dollars*

2006-09-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

Lost: My Focus..
Description: My focus is usually short and never remains still for long. It flits about all day and hardly can I ever get it to settle on important issues. Currently, it has gone missing again when I have work to rush, which is why I'm offering the reward. Anyone who has seen or has news of "My Focus", please do contact me. Oh, it also responds to the name of "attention span".

*Terms and conditions apply..

yeah.. I think I cannot play MP3s while marking at home coz I'll be staring at my monitor, fervently hoping that someone I usually talk to on MSN will appear, so that I can get away from marking.. even when no one appears, I'll be doing something else.. like this.. *crap*
there are like so many things on my mind now and I really don't know where to start thinking about them, which is perhaps why I'm rather happy to be crazily marking essays these days, not forgetting the fact that I do have to mark them anyway, but that's beyond the point.. it juz serves as healthy distraction from all other thoughts..
sigh.. haven't been feeling right since last week, I sure hope this doesn't last.. I hate putting up a cheerful front while iside me, it's all mixed-up.. but to stand in front of twenty and look glum, how inspirational can I get, what choice do I have.. oh well, seems like My Focus has come back to me, so too bad, I get to keep my million bucks.. hee~

New Jukey!

2006-09-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

ok, was surfing around looking at blogs when I saw this juke box thingy on someone's webbie and thought it was cool.. so instead of marking, I started fiddling with it, and in an hour, I have a new juke box on my blog..
loved the previous song that was on, Cao Ge's Superwoman, but think that must be the most short-lived song on my blog ever.. I haven't even gotten down to putting down the lyrics.. hopefully I can find it somewhere on that juke webbie thingy and put it into my playlist too..
alritey.. enough said and done really.. need to go back to marking essays.. sigh.. juz when I was in a HTML-y mood.. *cheerz*

Post-Obs..

2006-09-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

changed my song, but don't exactly have the time to go look for the lyrics and transfer them here or something.. knowing my compulsive need for tidiness, I'd probably spend another half an hour trying to make sure that everything is in line before I even publish it.. so well, to spare myself the agony, I shall not do that first..
alritez.. observation went fairly well I must say, even though my video didn't work becoz I stupidly put the link up on my PPT presentation but conveniently deleted the video which I had stored in another folder.. quite dumb.. luckily that wasn't too important a segment.. oh, thanks to S14 for being cooperative, though I knew that you guys would be.. there's a reason why I chose your class to be observed you know.. so well..
still crazily marking like mad, but shan't complain about that.. we are paid to mark anyway.. oh.. remembered something my HOD said.. something to the effect that I seem so much more relaxed and at ease in front of my students than with my dept colleagues.. I suggested that I open up slowly to people and therefore don't talk much to colleagues, yet in front of a class, I have no choice but to speak, and therefore, I feel at ease more quickly.. but I have no idea at all.. anyone wants to confirm that for me?
still can recall rather hazily the first time I stood in front of a class of 40 and started on my first lesson during my contract days.. it wasn't even a proper lesson.. my CT had this urgent phone call she had to attend to and suddenly left the class to me.. if I hyperventilate, I would have hyperventilated there and then.. but I managed somehow.. what struck me was that I became quickly at ease with the students, even before I talked much to my colleagues.. and that happened again during prac.. my point is.. I don't know.. haha.. lost my topic sentence..
whatever it is, exam period is coming, so for those who are having prelims, 'O's, promos, good luck for the papers.. for those who are marking these papers, even better luck, for I know understand how wonderful it was to just study for the papers instead of poring through tonnes of *@#&^% trying desperately to hunt for marks.. just joking.. "the sky is not falling, but the roof over our head is collasping"..

Busy busy busy..

2006-09-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

been really busy recently with all the marking of the assignments and stuff like that, keeping in mind that the promo paper is like next Friday.. almost every available bit of time is spent poring over yet another badly written essay or scribbling yet another 0 or 1/2 beside the compre question number.. kinda frustrating, but really wondering if I have been focusing too much on content that I've neglected skills.. think I'll feel terribly guilty if that's the case..
but whatever it is, there's no time to feel guilty now.. still got marking to do, and even when I complete this next week, the promo papers will come in.. juz like del says.. "we're marking machines!", and I would agree.. poor del also slogging away at prelim papers.. jia you there if you somehow manage time to read this.. =)
oh well.. can't really say I'm stressed up over it, but pretty upset these few days, feeling really moody.. and simply can't get out of it.. no idea why.. but soccer earlier was good.. at least it has made me so tired tonight that I'll probably juz sleep easy, unless of coz my legs start cramping up in the middle of the night..
and yes, juz remembered that I have an observation by my HOD tmr.. hope it goes well.. sigh.. so that I won't feel so shitty tmr.. or rather, I won't feel more shitty than I already do.. wish me shit loads of luck.. *cheers*

Light you candle now..

2006-09-14T12:03:00.000+08:00

got this in my email.. thought it's quite meaningful.. go light a candle.. it won't hurt to try and help.. =)

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves. But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.
We do not need your money. We need you to light a candle of support <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com>.

We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006. This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.They have the power to work together.

You have the power to get them to take action. Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com> or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children. Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.

Sept Hols??!!??

2006-09-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

wow.. one week really flies huh? the one week break has juz flown past and it's back to the grind of sch again.. gp promos coming up in 3 weeks time and there's lots more to cover.. not to mention the marking..
guess I haven't been most dilligent with the marking and I really should be, but somehow.. well.. no excuses.. it was pretty fruitful the two days that I was in sch to do it, but at home, it's juz different.. channels 10, 11, 12, and 16 were most distracting, and I pretty much spent my time surfing these 4 channels the whole day..
so I figured.. the next time I have stacks of marking, I should juz do them in sch, with my headphones plugged in and not come home till it's done.. no motivation though.. sigh..
anyway, del and I came to the conclusion that the one week break does more harm than help.. firstly, it's not a time for resting but a time to catch up with marking, and more importantly, it disrupts the whole sleep pattern.. can't remember the number of nights I slept before 2am the past week, and it probably won't do when sch reopens..
oh well, one week has flown by and it's too late for regrets.. I'll try.. next time I guess.. haha.. knowing me.. oh well.. =)

Lucky Number?

2006-09-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

Su Chan, your lucky number is number Six

Ah, 6, you're so gullible. Probably because you're such the Loyalist—very trusting. Cheer up, your friendship is rarer than a faithful politician. And if there were more 6s out there, the world would be a better place.

Only problem is, once you've been burned, your trust flees the scene like a scared rabbit. As a result, it's possible to come off a little cold and standoffish. Bad first impressions might stick with you. And if people don't pay their share of a dinner tab, it might taint your view of them as potential friends.

On the other hand, your BS radar is one of the sharpest around. That's why you may prefer shooting pool with friends instead of jockeying for position at the local singles' night. As a loyal Number 6, you're short on pickup lines and long on eye contact.

If you find security within yourself, you might become less affected by the mistakes of others. So if you find a little extra support in life, you'll be well on your way to joining the ranks of other famous 6s: Michelle Pfeiffer, Jay Leno, Tom Hanks, and Julia Roberts.

The Mood Swings Test?

2006-09-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

Su Chan, your mood tends to swing between Calm & Energetic.
Most of the time you feel calm. Your positive outlook on life is paired with a fairly low energy level. Although you might not realize it, your lower energy level is a positive attribute—it allows you to fully experience and appreciate your feelings of optimism. When you feel energetic, you are consumed by flurries of activity. You probably keep to a busy schedule and rarely take time out to relax or veg out in front of the television.

When you experience the ups and downs of mood swings, the most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Everyone—even the calmest individual—is liable to fly off the handle now and again.

Term 3 Week 10!! Yay!!

2006-08-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

hmm.. finally week 10 is here.. going to be a short week too, with Teacher's Day celebration on Thu and the actual thingy on Friday.. short short week, but everyday of this week will drag till past 5.. oh well, not really something to complain about I suppose..
so, gonna put up a dumb performance during the celebration thingy.. "It's a tradition that all new teachers have to.. blah blah.." sigh.. traditional mindsets.. the first thing that is always blamed for everything that happens.. e.g. Why is there racial/religious discrimination? - traditional mindsets.. Why do people behave the way they do and not be receptive to change? - traditional mindsets.. see what I mean? lolx..
itz gonna be fun though, crappy rather, or maybe juz crap.. whatever it is, we're putting in effort to get it done (not as much as the dancers though.. Kan² - jia you!!), and I don't really understand why teachers have to put in effort to prepare for an item for teacher's day celebration.. like.. duh..
alritez, enough of complaining.. not that I really mind, juz wanted to make this post longer.. oh well, last Sat was spent eventfully in school.. got to sch like abt 1100 just to play soccer with S14 kids.. ended up playing with some other students first before playing with them.. super tiring indeed, and this from someone who had hobbled to sch on Mon and Tue in slippers and a bandaged ankle..
after that, we were supposed to discuss the items that we were to put up for the celebration, and somehow we finished discussion for our item real fast and that was that.. chop chop.. the dancers were like learning their moves and I basically juz stoned there waiting for god-knows-what.. that ended at like 1600 and we changed n headed to TM for coffee..
came back later for Homecoming Dinner.. was sitting with people I didn't exactly know.. was with this teacher whose student is also teaching in TP.. coincidental huh? and so basically I was like walking everywhere else, talking to others.. thanks del, without you, I think I would have died of boredom man.. lolx.. so that ended at 10++ and finally I headed home..
12 hours in sch on a Saturday.. power man.. not my idea of a weekend.. eventful, but think I'd rather just spend it lazing at home watching dvds and the telly with my dearest.. =)

Jaded?

2006-08-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

yes I know it's been too long, so don't go reminding me that I should have updated ages ago.. since the last time I updated, National Day has come and gone.. another few weeks have gone, and rather unknowingly, it's like week 9 of term 3 already.. alrite, not unknowingly, but really quickly..
so well.. it's almost been a term now, and slowly I'm feeling my way around.. getting to know what to do and getting to know my students.. and that's what I really appreciate about being in a school environment I guess.. chatting with them outside of class, "making fun" of them, etc.. only don't like being the butt of their jokes.. but then again, who does?
hmm.. somehow still feeling that there are lots of skills to be brushed up on, somehow like not providing my classes with the best becoz I'm not there yet myself, but gotta try somehow or rather..
sigh.. I don't seem to be able to find a topic to talk about in my recent posts.. has my life really been that lacking that there's isn't anything concrete at all that is worth mentioning? or is it just that I'm so jaded that things don't interest me? I wonder..

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

2006-08-05T00:36:00.000+08:00

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walkin down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
And know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Petrol Prices Too High La..

2006-07-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

realised that I have not posted in a long time.. can't exactly say that I'm very busy, but yet I'm never free.. and I have tonnes of marking piled up somewhere on my table.. so yeah.. sigh..

oh well, last Thursday's TIC (Teachers' Investiture Ceremony) draws the curtains on the NIE chapter of my life.. well, the full-time NIE chapter anyhow, and mixed feelings really.. the tutorial mates that you've spent a year with, witnessing how people have changed, how relationships have changed, known a great deal more people that you can rely on for resources.. and yet at the same time, glad that it is finally over and we're officially teachers.. even though we're like labelled BTs for now.. beginning teachers.. how very apt.. Buay Tahan..

life's in TP is alrite, slowly getting into the swing of things.. juz went for my CCA yesterday.. shooting.. hmm.. rather interesting.. at least I concluded that sitting at the range watching the students shoot is loads more interesting than watching paint dry.. so well.. been playing regular soccer every Thursday.. if twice in three weeks can be considered regular..

so things are moving along again, especially after the stop-start nature of things in the post-practicum, pre-reporting stage, and somehow, despite the increased workload, I'm glad.. in all, it feels good to get started again, and that idle engine is being slowly cranked up to speed.. I hope.. at the moment, it's happily chugging along, doing 20km/h on a 110km/h highway.. bo pian.. darn petrol prices, need to do 20km/h to be fuel efficient.. sigh.. =P

Teacher Power

2006-07-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

"I have come to a frightening conclusion that
I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my personal approach that
creates the climate. It's my daily mood that makes the weather.
As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's
life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of
inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a
crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanised or
dehumanised."

Dr. Haim Ginott

Life in TPJC

2006-06-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

haven't been here for the longest time.. not too busy really, guess it's just world cup season.. finally, there's a break between matches, and I can find some time to blog again.. haha..

hmm.. had my first 3 days in TP.. has been ok so far, but can sense that the work is about to pile up, and WC is still not over yet.. die.. oh well, work is work, guess I juz have to balance my time.. haha.. if only it was as easy as typing those 3 words there.. you know, like as soon as I type "balance my time", it somehow juz miraculously is balance?

I'm crapping.. and whenever I crap, I don't wan to blog anymore coz I don't like it.. so well.. cheers.. =P

Induction at TP

2006-06-14T00:27:00.000+08:00

hmm.. juz had two days of induction at TP.. informative, and helpful definitely.. learned of the first topic that I'll be handling too.. "crime and punishment".. sounds really big.. wondering how to approach it now, which approach to take, what to teach and what not to.. sighz..

felt really overwhelmed yesterday when I looked at the SOW, but think I'll juz take it one step at a time I guess.. clear one hurdle before I look at the next one, and I'll probably survive.. so well, need to mug very soon, read up on the resources that I've been given and see how I'll approach it..

any suggestions? always welcome.. =)

back from HK?

2006-06-04T21:32:00.000+08:00

hmm.. been back for a week now.. realised that I haven't said anything about the trip, other than posting some pics.. so well.. eh.. the trip was good, had lots of fun eating and eating.. coz I didn't shop much ma..

disney was interesting, if not a tad too small, and the fact that we went there late meant that we missed out on quite a number of rides which I supposed would have been fun, but oh well.. the rest of the days were mainly spent walking round numerous shops, and stopping for food.. haha.. and that was rather fun really.. stopping wherever you feel like juz to grab a bite..

there was this place.. langham place i think which had escalators that went on forever and ever.. it goes up like 4 storeys and itz like.. wow.. and the glass ceiling was 'oh so beautiful'.. should take a look if u have the chance.. well, I might be the only one who has not seen it yet and think that itz like so nice when everyone else has already been there done that, so pardon the 'suaku-ness'

hmm.. other than that, it was a good break I guess.. one that's long overdue.. and one that was cut short becoz of some boring stuff, but at least I had the opportunity to go.. yep.. thatz abt it I guess.. getting ready for the new sch term.. I'm lying.. I'm not.. =P

HK..

2006-05-25T05:55:00.000+08:00

at the airport now waiting to board the plane.. free internet service by samsung so can blog here.. well.. hope the weather will be fine for the next four days so that we can walk walk and walk..

will be at disney hopefully in another six hours time or thereabouts.. so well, so all those people stuck in singapore, haha.. cheers!! =P

Updates??

2006-05-21T12:12:00.000+08:00

alrite.. after all the relentless pressure, guess I'd better do some updating.. hmm.. where do I start? itz been three weeks since practicum ended, sorry, two.. and haven't really done much I guess, except travel super far back to NIE for lessons and reflections and more reflections..

other than that, well, going to HK next Thur to Sun, planning to visit Disneyland and do lots of shopping and eating.. as the ad for HK says.. eat and shop and eat and shop some more.. yeah.. guess thatz a good way of relaxing before the battle really starts..

called TPJC on Thur and Fri, but didn't manage to talk to the VP.. probably will try again tmr or the day after, or the day after, or after after.. u get the idea.. want to get it out of the system fast so that I can plan wat else I wanna do..

honestly, I think I'm gonna miss teaching in a Sec sch.. at least I can quite confidently say that I know what I'm gonna do when I step into a sec class, but jc.. hmm.. can't quite say the same thing leh.. but oh well, nthg much I can do about it except prepare, so better stop lamenting and start working on it..

oh ya, attended Stella's wedding ytd, loved the live band.. they were superb.. and Stella, if you're reading this, CONGRATS!! din really get to talk to you but thatz quite expected la.. all the best! =)

to my dear sec 4 ex-students, u noe who u are.. pls take the chance during the hols to revise and revise.. don't play too much ar.. (typical teacher, holidays oso muz nag) and also, please be nice to your form teacher la.. dun put things like.. erm.. wateva u put in my tagboard, even though.. haha.. *muz be professional la..*

to my students at pyss.. if you're reading this, especially the guys from 314.. please don't waste any more of your precious time and really really work hard.. would really love to go back and teach your class even though you guys give me a whole lot of nonsense.. I noe itz not easy for you guys, but don't be influenced by others in your class.. no reason for you to sink with them when you know that you can swim.. and please, be nice to Ms Audrey Lim ok.. she's trying very hard with your class too, so please appreciate all that she's doing.. if you guys need help, I'll try to find time ya?

della.. we're gonna be colleagues for the next 3 years at least man.. quite interesting, how it took one big round to get to where we are, but well, I'm glad that we can both pull each other through la.. guess I'll need your help more than you need mine, initially at least..

dear dear, next Thur is our HK trip le wor.. so well, hope the first 3 days of next week pass quickly and smoothly, den we can fly out of here and have fun.. finally have some time to ourselves, hmm.. so muz treasure it and enjoy ourselves lor.. can forsee that I'm gonna get even busier from now on, so really appreciate the opportunity to spend some alone time with you..

yupz.. thatz it i guess.. a whole lot of disjointed stuff which just pops up.. haven't been thinking clearly recently.. muz be the dead brain cells that have not been recovered yet la.. have to take some more time I guess.. ya.. update liao hor.. don't complain anymore!! *ciaoz*

Final Posting

2006-05-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

hmm.. practicum ended like last week but I haven't really been in the mood to post anything till now.. coz final posting is out.. having mentally prepared myself to go back to PYSS, it was really rather surprising/shocking to see the actual posting..
don't really know if I'm ready to handle teaching GP instead of English.. so well, guess I'll take each step as it comes.. I'm feeling rather empty now, don't know what to feel actually..
this is a rather disjointed post.. coz I really don't know what to say.. oh ya, btw.. I'm going to TPJC..

Kiss Goodbye - 王力宏

2006-05-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

Baby 不要再哭泣这一幕多么熟悉
紧握着你手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静
给我一分钟专心好好欣赏你的美

幸福搭配悲伤痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回还欠你的我不能给
别把我心也带走去跟随

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次Kiss You Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

幸福搭配悲伤痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回但欠你的我不能给
我才明白爱最真实的滋味

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次 Kiss You Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白
Oh ~ 终于明白
Oh Ho~Woo
Wow~

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开每
每一次Kiss You Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

大长今

2006-04-24T14:50:00.000+08:00

heys, found this really cute flash webbie.. haha.. quite interesting.. take a look.. =)

http://flash.cyol.com/product/05121802324416.swf

2 more to go..

2006-04-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

After a hectic Thursday and Friday last week where I cleared 4 observations, I'm down to 2.. haha.. not that much difference really, coz really gotta start pushing the kids to revise for the MYE.. thatz coming up on 4th May man.. one day before I leave..

anyways, this week is relatively light coz of the long weekend, and the fact that Thursday is Speech Day.. long day, but no lessons for me.. and I'm like doing compre for English, so well, nothing much to prepare for that, esp when I've already done my pre-lesson last week..

hmm.. yeah, guess thatz abt that.. trying to find out the dates that we have to go back to NIE, trying to see when I have available slots to hop off somewhere for some much needed RnR, but it's the usual mess.. guess that'll have to be put on hold as well.. sigh..

ah well.. nothing much left, except for this interesting webbie that I came across.. would be good for EL pple, I think, haven't looked at it in detail yet, but shld be fine I guess.. http://english-zone.com/index.php Do check it out.. Cheers!

Crappy Day..

2006-03-31T17:42:00.000+08:00

Crappy day.. WTF..

曹操 - 林俊杰

2006-03-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

不是英雄不读三国

若是英雄怎么能不懂寂寞

独自走下长板坡月光太温柔

曹操不罗嗦一心要那荆州

用阴谋阳谋明说暗夺的摸

东汉末年分三国烽火连天不休

儿女情长没法执着有谁来煮酒

尔虞我诈是三国说不清对与错

纷纷扰扰千百年以后一切又从头

不是英雄不读三国

若是英雄怎么能不懂寂寞

独自走下长板坡月光太温柔

曹操不罗嗦一心要那荆州

用阴谋阳谋明说暗夺的摸

东汉末年分三国烽火连天不休

儿女情长没法执着有谁来煮酒

尔虞我诈是三国说不清对与错

纷纷扰扰千百年以后一切又从头

独自走下长板坡月光太温柔

曹操不罗嗦一心要那荆州

用阴谋阳谋明说暗夺的摸

东汉末年分三国烽火连天不休

儿女情长没法执着有谁来煮酒

尔虞我诈是三国说不清对与错

纷纷扰扰千百年以后一切又从头

CBD

2006-03-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

no la.. not Central Business District but Compulsive Blogging Disorder.. yeah, thatz what I think I'm suffering from at the moment.. even after the two rounds of verbal diarrhoea earlier on, I still am feeling the urge to blog some more.. I don't know why.. CBD.. argh..

oh well, running out of issues to discuss, so let's bore you with the usual mundane stuff again then.. hmm.. doing lesson plans as usual, reaching a maximum speed of 2 LP/hr (for the uninitiated, thatz 2 lesson plans per hour), which I think is pretty fast la.. haha.. of coz, thatz just the LPs la.. not including the accompanying worksheets la, powerpoint la, samples la.. blah blah.. accessories sold seperately, batteries not included.. u get the idea..

had my first formal CT observation for E Lang yesterday too, passed all, thatz wat really matters ain't it? one thing my CT said struck me.. again, can't rem the exact words, but they meant something to the effect of "you have very good worksheets, but you don't utilise them to their full potential" which I somehow juz drew a parallel to a brillant tatician who never seems capable enough to execute his/her plans to maximum effect..

is that down to a lack of experience? or is that just something lacking in me? not that I'm really affected by that, becoz I realise that about myself too.. (I meant the very good worksheets part la.. haha..) so well, I don't know.. maybe you can help me answer that.. another round of observation coming up this Friday.. by my EL CT again, and this time accompanied by the SCM who happens to be my ELL HOD as well.. siao liao lor.. and my sup should be coming next week.. oh well, narrow window in the practicum period for observations I guess.. itz scary how your future hangs in the balance for a comparatively short period of three weeks.. =P argh.. enough of observations.. I have 7 to go, 5 after Friday.. so well, that's half of them gone.. almost..

feeling kinda lost tonight.. wondering why too.. perhaps coz I've been typing too much here.. but I think it's coz I'm feeling lost which is why I'm typing so much here.. trying to find a direction somewhere, but it's just not happening.. left sch really early today, 2pm in fact, went for lunch with my fellow trainee, then headed home.. wanted to sleep but couldn't, so stayed awake and did 4 lesson plans which I owed myself.. (meant for prev lessons actually).. don't get me wrong, I did plan the lessons, juz that I didn't type them out, scribbling them on recycled paper instead..

students are a weird bunch.. when you expect them to behave, they don't, and when you don't expect them to behave, they don't as well.. weird rite? anyway, was doing relief today, so went in, kids came fifteen minutes late, nvm.. still made so much noise, so basically blasted them and they were like angels for the next half an hr.. which makes me wonder.. why not behave in the first place to spare yourself that roasting? or does good behaviour only come after the "hair dryer" treatment? I'm really tempted to believe the latter.. and so far, it's been proven right..

and oh, something really funny.. during that relief class.. walked past this kid who suddenly said.. "cher, u smell good".. gosh.. if it's the first period, I might agree la.. but this was like 1315, 15 minutes before sch ends.. and I had 4 periods todae in class.. so well.. I don't know.. you smell me.. oops.. I meant, you tell me.. which reminds me.. this kid who came up to me and told me "cher, your hair the side very nice.. how u style one?", and I was like.. "er, ask the barber to cut slope?".. funny how kids notice everything else but the stuff that you want them to take note of.. "cher, you got say must bring meh?", "huh, got write on the board meh?", "cher, I never hear leh.." being very obvious examples of that huh.. oh well..

anyway, was talking to david the other day.. about notti kids and good kids.. and how there can be many students who can spoil your day, but how it takes just one kid to make your day, to make you smile and think it's all worth it.. my CT certainly thinks so too.. and I definitely think so too.. have experienced it already and it just makes everything else so unimportant, except maybe the issue about teachers not being allowed to blog.. haha.. these are the moments I call the "Kodak moments of your heart" I guess..

hmm.. guess I've blabbered enough for tonight and for many nights to come.. but there's the most important, most special persion that I want to reserve the remaining words for..

to my dearest leng, know that we've both been really busy and all, and that I don't have much time to pei you, but I want you to know that you're always there in my mind, and that special place in my heart.. guess it was really fate that we both ended up at the same place last saturday even though we didn't arrange to meet up huh.. well, do take care at work alrite, and as always, won't promise you eternal love, but hope as always too, that a lifetime is enough.. Love you..

Frenship..

2006-03-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

this is a post that I promised my student.. ex-student actually.. actually I kinda forgot what I was supposed to tok about, but guess I'll just anyhow 'hantam' and hopefully hit the stupid nail on the head.. alritey, so here goes..

hmm.. frenship.. always hard to understand huh.. funny why we quarrel with frens, especially when they are supposed to be our frens.. oh well, that's becoz diff pple have diff personalities and preferences I guess.. but like in all human relationships, there is always a need to compromise I guess..

eternal frenship? anyone buys that? I don't.. and I mean it.. I mean, when you die, the frenship dies too rite.. but thatz not the point.. hah.. anti-climax.. oh well, what I actually mean is that people change, circumstances change, everything changes with time.. even time changes with time.. so well, someone that we are comfortable with now may outgrow our comfort zone and make us really uncomfortable in future, especially during adoloscence, when you are still seeking an identity for yourself.. one day, that geeky fren who has always been by your side may make you seem "tak glam" and you might want to distance yourself from him/her forever.. or you may be that geeky fren.. hah.. u get my point la..

was watching that ah beng film by royston tan "15" and was really struck by something the ah beng said to his frens.. something to the extent of "can be frens for how long then be lor.. if cannot then say lor", or something like that la.. can't remember.. which I believe in.. totally.. I mean, who is to predict what will happen in future.. every day that you are frens is one day more, and that is something really special I believe.. to be able to have a true fren.. why waste that time quarrelling or fighting some nonsensical cold war? stocking up on nuclear weapons ar? madness..

like that sovil et titus ad, which seems to have disappeared by the way.. the "不在乎天长地久, 只在乎曾经拥有.." thingy.. nothing is eternal, and it's better to appreciate what you have now before it is gone.. for you will never know when that just might happen..

this all appears very disjointed.. have too many thought processes running in my head now really.. so well, guess thatz all I'll have for now.. before I confuse myself or you or anybody else who's reading this, or not reading this.. wateva.. see, told you I'm confused.. hello!! (DARN!!)

50th post..

2006-03-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

hmm.. just realised that this is my 50th post.. nothing much, just realised it, so must put down lor.. aniwaes, after that super long n confusing post, thought I'd take a break before continuing, but just had this overwhelming desire to blog today.. no idea why, just know I must..

alrite.. anyone read Sunday Times Life section? the article where they were saying whether teachers should blog or not.. that got me thinking.. the question that I was thinking about was definitely not whether teachers should blog or not because I don't think that should be an issue at all.. the question I was really thinking about can't exactly be replicated in full here, so I shall paraphrase it as "What's the problem with that?".. yep..

is there a problem with teachers blogging? what professional conduct and all.. hmm.. yes, definitely, we have to maintain a sense of decorum and be professional and all, but blogging is mostly an outlet through which we blow off steam.. would they rather we scream and shout at all the kids that make us angry? or keep it all inside until we blow up?

whatever it is, I feel very strongly that this is not an issue at all.. of coz, that doesn't mean that we have the right to abuse this freedom, after all, we are, much more than others, in a position to affect the minds of our youth, and as teachers, should be a role model for our kids.. but then again, there should be nothing wrong with harmless complaining is there? and also updating our peers about what's happening to us..

in fact, it can even be an avenue with which we reach out to our students.. there are certain things that we do not display in class, like disappointment or anger, which we can express on our blogs.. and if students chance upon them, they might realise it.. or not.. whatever.. but my point is, teaching is afterall, a profession, a job, perhaps one which encompasses much more responsibility than others, but we don't sell our freedom when we take up that responsibility..

true, it is unprofessional for a teacher to complain about a fellow colleague, but is it less unprofessional when anyone complains about his/her colleague? why is the issue magnified when it comes to teachers? not just about blogging, but also teachers who drink, teachers who smoke.. blah blah.. why turn the spotlight to teachers always? why the double standards? is it becoz people still think it is a cushy half day job of a past long gone and forgotten?

well, I don't know what I'm ranting about here really.. I juz felt really disturbed when I saw that article.. I'm teaching becoz I want to make a difference in my students' lives, but if that entails a drastic changing of my own lifestyle (as if waking up at 530am for someone who used to sleep at 6am is not a drastic enough change), I might start to wonder if it's all worth it.. Why invite all that public scrutiny upon myself? well, if you have what it takes, teach.. how true.. how very true..

What is "Moving On"?

2006-03-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

alrite.. I was looking ard at blogs as usual, and came across this.. being as kpo as I usually am, and being bored now, I've decided to offer my view on what's moving on.. sure beats having to do lesson plans and mark worksheets..

hmm.. how do I begin? let's use something familiar I guess.. ever waited ages for a bus at a bus stop late at night and somehow it never seemed to appear? do you wait on, or do you do something else? sometimes you wait, because you are not ready to give up, you're not ready to move on.. so you wait and you wait, for that last bus to arrive..

other times, you flag down the next cab that comes your way and juz get home.. this ensures that you get home quick but it burns a hole in the pocket.. this is done provided you know exactly where you want to move on to, and you are willing to pay the price for it, be it monetary or emotionally.. it usually has repurcussions as well, such as missing out on buying that bag you've been eyeing for the longest time, or wateva.. u get the point..

yet at other times, you decide to move on slowly.. in stages.. setting targets you can see.. for example.. you decide to walk to the next bus stop before waiting again.. but as you walk, you constantly turn back because you're afraid that the bus might come.. this is natural, but this slows your walk to the next stop.. you constantly wonder if it was a wrong move to even step away from the bus stop in the first place, so you unwillingly walk towards the next one..

as you walk, you near the next one, and you quicken our pace in case the bus comes along now.. but when you arrive and you wait, you realise that the bus is still not coming.. do you wait, or do you walk on? and so it goes, making choices at every stop, choosing to wait or walk on.. you feel satisfied each time you reach a new stop, a new resting point, but silently you hope that the bus still comes, don't we all? but unknowingly, you are also getting nearer to where you hope to be eventually, if you've chosen to walk on from stop to stop..

this is what most of us do when moving on.. we take small tentative steps at first, afraid of the consequences, not knowing that each tentative step takes us further away from where we began and nearer to where we want to go.. when the goal we aim for is within distance, we hurry along, still harbouring hopes of getting what we had wanted.. as we walk further, our hopes of getting what we had wanted fade, and our eventual destination seem so much nearer..

of course, there are times when you are halfway between two bus stops and you're dead tired.. you curse your luck, you swear at anything, and you feel like giving up.. you sit down on the pavement and you cry, you rant.. but do you stand up and walk on, or do you continue sitting down? it's now too far to walk back to where you started, so what do you do?

there may be a chance that the bus zooms past you while you're halfway between stops, so how do you deal with that? do you stand by the roadside and flag insanely, hoping that the driver somehow picks you up? do you grieve that lost chance, and curse your stupidity for walking in the first place? or do you brace yourself together and tell yourself to walk on, knowing that it's not fated to be? I wonder what I'll do too..

well.. no matter whether you wait, you take a cab, or you walk, there are consequences that you have to bear, and who knows what these consequences may be.. what really matters is that you make the choice that you are comfortable with at that point of time and you live by it without regrets.. do not walk because that man or woman at the bus stop tells you that the bus has left because how can you be truly sure that he or she is right? only when you're convinced that the bus has left do you leave the bus stop..

yep.. guess this is really heading nowhere, so I won't confuse anyone anymore with my ramblings.. if this somehow made sense to you, I hope it helps.. if it doesn't, don't worry, I'm sure you're not the only one.. whatever it is, moving on, to me, simply means doing what you feel comfortable doing at that point in time.. and remember, there are always countless checkpoints between the starting and finishing line.. cheers..

Two down, eight more to go

2006-03-09T12:11:00.000+08:00

Just had my first observation by my NSC today, decided to get my CT to do it as well, might as well rite.. so on it went, for one and a half long hours.. guess it was generally ok, other than certain students here and there, and the usual stuff.. at least this class was ok la..
so there it is, my first and second observation in the same day, same lesson, that makes life so much easier now, and the hols are like next week.. if only I can honestly say that I have nothing to do during the hols and just relax.. if only..
tonnes of lesson plans still to prepare, work to mark, not forgetting the enrichment project that was bestowed upon us since our days in NIE, oh well, a one week break from monotony, and lots more other work..
so well, thatz abt it I guess, and oh.. thanks for all the encouragement from all.. if only my students understood my point as well.. but then again, will they ever?

What would you do?

2006-03-07T16:57:00.001+08:00

What would you do, if you had a whole class of students who simply are not motivated, who have really weak foundation yet refuse to learn?

What would you do, if they have given up on themselves, and feels as if the whole world has given up on them?

What would you do? Would you try to get round to them and knock some sense into them, or would you simply give up on them like they themselves have?

What would you do? I wonder..

Second Week of Practicum..

2006-03-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

hmm.. into the second week of prac, have started teaching, and so far, guess it's been ok.. first lesson was rather bad, but somehow, it juz seemed to get better (fingers crossed, toes crossed) and hopefully it will be ok for the next 9 or 10 weeks..

settling in rather well too, so thatz fine as well.. been kinda busy, somehow found time today to blog, and thot, why not.. haven't been doing it for quite some time anyways.. but then again, nothing much to really talk about too..

not many complaints, nothing really good to talk abt too.. hah.. oh.. countless lesson plans.. but these are like.. oh well, getting used to it.. hmm.. shall advertise here then.. eh.. anyone has like SEC3 N(A) ENGLISH LPs or SEC3 N(T) EOA LPs? willing to exchange or take them from you for free.. oh, btw, if you need these but don't have any of your own, I'm always willing to discuss prices..

ah well.. getting mercenary.. haha.. thatz abt that I guess.. as I already said.. nothing much to talk about.. yep.. do visit my johari window if you haven't (refer post below this one)!! cheers.. =)

Johari Window..

2006-02-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

eh, a friend of mine (ah le) sent his one out, and I, being the unoriginal but still wan to have fun kind, decided to follow along.. anyway, just click on the link or copy and paste it into the address bar of your browser and taadaa..

here goes:

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Su+Chan

thanks lots!!

My Laptop, My Valentine..

2006-02-14T04:45:00.000+08:00

it's valentine's day, but I gathered that most of us here will not be celebrating it this year.. coz we're like buried with tonnes of work in this final week.. yay!! <--- that's what happens when your brain cells are all dead.. u cheer at anything useless..

anyways, as I was saying, it's valentine's day.. yay!! and I've just spent the first 4hrs 45mins of it doing an assignment, which I must say, I finished.. 1029 words, interrupted by filling up water bottles, ironing shirt, eating noodles.. not that bad huh? yay!! so well, ya, as I was saying, it's valentine's day.. and I've got like LTE today.. and I'm teaching.. oh ya, LTE = Language Teaching Experience.. and so well, erm.. hope it goes well ba..

anyways, as I was saying.. woohoo!! I can't remember what I was trying to say, but oh well, going to PYSS for some meeting this Thur.. not terribly excited, quite excited too, but don't really have time to think about it.. hopefully will have some time to get my hair cut though.. yay!! not that I like cutting hair, but hmm.. honestly, I hate it, so well.. cancel that yay!! in front then..

as you can probably see by now, this post is really dis-jointed and doesn't make much sense.. yay!! this is what happens when your brain no longer chooses to function the way it wants to after trying to organise so many lesson plans and essays, and oh.. powerpoint slides.. but oh well, you win some, you lose some.. only in this case, I still have no idea what I won.. damn.. should have at least put some $$ on that TOTO jackpot thingy last Friday.. might have won some since I've been losing so many brain cells recently.. okay.. incoherence must stop at some point, so here it is.. yay!!

Holiday Mood??

2006-02-06T00:22:00.000+08:00

still recovering from my holiday mood, must admit that I'm faring pretty badly at that.. not that I'm not putting in any effort, but well.. sometimes, effort just ain't good enough.. but not much choice there, what with there being quite a number of assignments left to go before practicum..

yes, practicum.. 20 Feb.. got my posting too, Ping Yi Sec.. quite expectedly not ZHSS.. oh well, whatever comes.. a new place, new people to get to know, new place to get familiar with.. hope it doesn't go too badly.. juz haf to take a step at a time I guess..

anyways, nothing much really happening in my life, other than the countless assignments that I've been talking about ever since god knows when.. hmm, even that's drawing to a close too.. I'll be complaining about countless lesson plans in time to come, I can forsee that even now..

CNY's over, well, at least the public holidays part of it, so, time to buckle down and study/work hard for the year ahead.. for the Sec 4 students who are reading this (u noe who u r), study hard ok? 'O's are coming end of this year, and it's only like 8/9 more months away, not a lot of time really, so well.. *PIA* and then *PIA* some more.. if you're trying your best, that's not enough.. do your best.. if you're doing your best, that's not enough too.. do better.. =P

Half Dead Post

2006-01-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

Back again after a long time.. haven't exactly been very busy I must say, but that's coz I've been slacking I guess.. lots of work piled up for after CNY but just can't get into the mood to begin.. haven't really been in a blogging mood too, as is obvious.. just no inspiration, or anything worth blogging about..

hmm.. had the second session of LTE (Language Teaching Experience) this afternoon, was quite an enjoyable session todae as well, even though I didn't teach again.. but the kids in general were good, responsive as well.. oh well, let's hope they stay that way for the next two sessions..

heard that practicum posting is coming out tmr.. not too sure how accurate that is, but doesn't really matter to me that much.. any school will do I guess.. how different can they be? but then again, wouldn't mind going back to ZHSS as well.. really had an enjoyable time there, or at least, I think I had an enjoyable time there.. not sure if the students enjoyed my lessons though.. =P

CNY's coming, this Saturday is CNY eve, so hmm... "Gong Xi Fa Cai" to all? ya, guess so la.. hahs.. ciaoz!!

Short short semester

2006-01-11T14:30:00.000+08:00

one week of this short sem has flown by, helped by the fact that there's already been 2 holidays in the first 10 days of 2006.. seems like everything is moving so quickly and days are just flying pass.. lots of assignments again, but then again, what's new?

been attending a module that explores philosophy of education through films, and it's really kinda interesting, what with watching a 30min clip of some movie for the first part of the lessons.. so far we've caught 15, Lord of the Rings, and also Dead Poets Society.. not bad at all.. offers a different perspective to the way I approach films, seeing them in a totally different light..

hmm.. that's about all there is to say about sch I guess.. amazing that I even found something interesting to talk about.. on a lighter note, CNY is coming soon, and as usual, my family's busy with the mass production of pineapple tarts.. haha.. even I was forced into slave labour, but hmm.. it's kinda interesting I must say..

weather's been, hmm.. fan-tastic, cool and all, and knowing me, I would rather be soaked by rain than drenched by perspiration, so well, itz good for me.. only thing bad is that people fall sick easily, so well, do take extra care, keep warm, and stay healthy!! =)

A new year!

2006-01-03T12:52:00.000+08:00

it's the beginning of a new year again, and it's back to the books, for the next 7 weeks at least.. following that wld be practicum and that's going to be a big one for me, for anyone here.. but before all that, there's still 7 weeks of lessons, and guess it's going to be one big rush all over again.. sigh..

the past year has been.. well.. don't really know how it was now that I think about it.. can't say there were many ups or downs, probably juz normal.. started working, seriously working I mean, and really do miss the times back in NUS where the big group of us slacked away outside the LT.. whether there were lessons or not, we were always there, gaming away, having the time of our lives..

oh well, thatz over and done with, so it's time to move on I guess.. yepz.. =) have a great start to the new year!!

New Year's Eve

2005-12-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

hmm, shan't go on about not having posted and all.. it's NYE today but it sure doesn't feel like it to me.. seems like these hols don't mean that much to me anymore, or perhaps they never meant much to me anyway..

more importantly, this is my 4th year together with my dearest, so this day will also hold more meaning than just NYE for me.. so well, nothing reallie much to say here, so guess I'll juz end off here.. "HAPPY NEW YEAR" to all! and "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" to my dearest.. loving u lots! =)

Post until like that might as well don't post..

2005-12-12T11:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.. realised that I have not been posting yet again, but then again, I don't usually post when I'm at home, coz nothing much happens when I'm at home.. but well.. took my 2 IT courses last week.. wouldn't exactly call them courses actually, coz they were so short they felt like erm.. hmm.. workshops?

but then again, it was a wonderful experience, learning how to use those 2 programs.. hope to have the chance to attend more in future, but really wonder when there will be time for me again.. in a long long while perhaps.. better enjoy the rest of my holidays now and have a bit more fun..

talking about holidays.. my Bintan trip's coming up.. hope that it'll be fun, or at least not as boring.. haha.. been there once before, so this will be the second time.. as you can see, I really don't have much to talk about.. nothing's flowing around, and everything is juz so crappy..

oh well, guess I shan't prolong my, and therefore your agony, and end it off soon enough.. oh, my b'dae's coming up too.. not that I'm terribly excited about it.. who wld be excited to reach mid-20s? but this juz add to the word count, so I'm happy..

Too Free?

2005-12-07T12:52:00.000+08:00

Been very free for the past week or so, so free that I decided to sign myself up for 2 IT enrichment courses that NIE is offering.. finished the 1-day Photoshop one yesterday, gonna start the 2.5-day Flash one in about 45 minutes time.. Haha.. told you I was too free.. never thought I would be soooo hardworking to attend courses that aren't any bit compulsory, but then again, I wouldn't know how else to spend my time..

Of coz, I could have been home, lazing around or playing Zoo Tycoon 2 (juz started playing it recently, kinda interesting..), but thought perhaps I should spend my time more constructively.. Like over the weekend, I was busy constructing my DREAM ZOO.. haha.. too bad my comp doesn't seem to like the game much and keeps lagging, so well..

Hmmm, with nothing much going on, there's really nothing much to blog about.. and I don't really wanna bore people telling them wat time I wake up, wat time I sleep, wat I eat, how I took that amazing shot in Yahoo Pool, blah blah.. so well, short post this time..

Oh ya, anyone has Photoshop program to lend mi? Super expensive leh.. cannot afford, so if you have it, let mi know ya? haha.. so that I can have some fun distorting people's faces, and making myself appear in places that I've never been to.. =P Technology.. Truly amazing..

Oh oh, forgot to add.. after numerous complaints, I finally changed the colour of my fonts on this page.. hope this is clearer now, and no way, the font style is not gonna change.. I like Bradley Handwriting ITC too much.. for now at least.. =)

AmazinGrace - 25 November 2005

2005-11-26T16:35:00.000+08:00

GESL is finally over.. well, at least the main event is over and what's left is the usual reflections and the 6 Ws.. for the uninitiated, that's "What went well?" and "What went wrong?".. I shall not bore you with that here, and spare you all the details.. of course, the main reason is that I don't wanna do it now and have to go through it again the second time when the group meets.. whatever it is, itz over, and with that, the final assignment of this year.. HOLS..

well, the day started with bad weather, vividly remember waking up at 6 to see lightning flashes and hear thunder roaring.. *my prayers were answered* knowing that the event still had to go on, I woke up to prepare my "wet-weather gear", which meant ziplock bags, groundsheet, the goretex jacket, blah blah.. AmazinGly, the rain seems to slow to a rather heavy drizzle by 7 and I figured that was AmazinGrace indeed.. so well, off to Sentosa with Jack (thanks a lot for all the trips that you made in the Civic)

got there early, and waited for kinda long for the rest of the station masters to turn up, which they eventually did.. gathered, got briefed, set out on our way.. found myself a real cosy spot under the tower at my station (Southern most point of the Asian Continent if you really wanna know), set out my groundsheet and started to wait.. first team came in after quite a long wait, and after an even longerrrrr wait, the second and third teams came in simultaneously..

then after a rather longggg wait too, the fourth team came.. followed by the fifth.. DUH! after that, I packed up and went for lunch.. so there were event planned for after lunch but well, things didn't exactly go as planned, so the kids had free time on the beach.. after that, we sent them on their way to the transport and we were on our way homes..

guess it was a really tiring day, and the incessant drizzle was quite irritating too, but I must say it was a day well-spent.. even though it started as a "How can they force us to do community service?" thing, I believed that each and everyone of us went through the whole thing with their best efforts, and can be proud to come away saying "How can they force us to do community service?".. Because forcing us to do it degrades the value of community service, done becoz it's compulsory and not becoz we were willing to do it..

granted that most of us would not have done it if it wasn't compulsory, but well.. mixed feelings here.. anyway, the event is over, so thatz that.. many thanks to all the people of Grp 22 - PathFinders (corny, but yeah..) for the great time.. and especially to my Logistics team - Jack, Liang, Maggie, and Del-Del - for all the effort put in and for all the help given throughout the entire planning and 'putting into action' process.. you guys n gals have been great!

alritey, now that the last thing that has pre-occupied my mind for the past week has disappeared, I'm lost again, and stay tuned for even more crappy posts from now on as my brain goes through itz usual vegetative state throughout the hols.. stay away, check back only in January if you cannot stand meaningless post.. haha.. I'm joking, not.. =P

View from the top of "MY" tower!

BORED!!

2005-11-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

I'm bored.. just applied the finishing touches to my micro-teaching assignment.. what is micro teaching? it's a "7 minute showcase of what you think you do best in a classroom context", an "exciting trailer of your lesson for NT pupils". yep, that's what it is..

don't wanna say much about that, enough has been said over msn already, and I have no wish to post unplesantries on my blog, yep, so that's that.. ARGH!! ok, that feels so much better.. ok, really no idea why I'm still up blogging, feeling bored when I have to wake up early tmr to go to the library to print my stuff, but basically I can't get to sleep in this wonderfully cold weather..

maybe it's the "power-nap" that I took earlier on, or maybe my bio clock's screwed, and why can blame it? used to sleeping when the sun gets up, and having dinner as breakfast.. a sure mix for disaster I would say.. but well, that's my life la, already very used to it, but that has to change, and soon..

anyway, feel that my recent posts have really been crappy, and I'm wondering why too.. Just don't seem to make sense to me anymore, and maybe the creative brain cells are all dead from trying to think up innovative activities to put in the LPs (lesson plans!! nothing else, seriously), so nothing much else to put here.. nothing much happening in my life too, so there's nothing much to put la..

aiya, I'm crapping to increase the number of words here, honestly, I do swear that I'm crapping to increase the number of words here.. (see, I told you I was crapping to increase the number of words here by putting "crapping to increase the number of words" four times already) hah.. I can really crap.. wateva la.. gone! tmr will be the first, and hopefully last time I'm in shirt and pants on NIE.. impossible.. shucks..

一路向北 - 周杰倫

2005-11-15T03:45:00.000+08:00

後視鏡裏的世界越來越遠的道別
你轉身向背側臉還是很美
我用眼光去追竟聽見你的淚
在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會
你站的方位跟我中間隔著淚
街景一直在後退你的崩潰在窗外零碎

我一路向北離開有你的季節
你說你好累已無法再愛上誰
風在山路吹過往的畫面全都是我不對
細數慚愧我傷你幾回

後視鏡裏的世界越來越遠的道別
你轉身向背側臉還是很美
我用眼光去追竟聽見你的淚
在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會
你站的方位跟我中間隔著淚
街景一直在後退你的崩潰在窗外零碎

我一路向北離開有你的季節
你說你好累已無法再愛上誰
風在山路吹過往的畫面全都是我不對
細數慚愧我傷你幾回

我一路向北離開有你的季節
方向盤周圍回轉著我的後悔
我加速超越卻甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
細數慚愧我傷你幾回
停止狼狽就讓錯純粹

Cutted(sic) and Pasted

2005-11-15T03:09:00.000+08:00

Read this on my friend's blog, thought it's kinda interesting (not to mention a rather "shameless" way of getting people to post comments, haha), so decided to cut and paste it here.. here goes..

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to come after you with a sharpened pencil (an e-mailed virus would seem rather more appropriate here) either way.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Going somewhere?

2005-11-10T22:46:00.000+08:00

hmm.. there's been a change in plans for my hols.. yes, I'm going somewhere afterall.. my dearest managed to ballot for her company's villa in Bintan, I'm gonna have free accomodation for 3d2n.. haha.. seems like some part of my recent trips have all been free stuff.. first air tix to BKK, now this.. =)
well, a good opportunity to get away and recharge my batteries.. esp when it's coming almost in late Dec, after my birthday, so well, the last chance for relaxation before the mad rush begins next sem again..
oh well, that's still about a month away, so there's something to look forward to.. meantime, life's really kinda boring without any assignments.. and I mean it.. I'm not crazy or something, but hey, there's really something lacking.. why couldn't they have like spread those 11 assignments over these 2 months instead of cramming it into 2 weeks?
guess my recent posts haven't really been going anywhere, seems to be lacking in direction.. no idea why too.. maybe the brain cells were all damaged in the past few weeks and finding it hard to recover.. or horrors of horrors.. my brain only works when it is stimulated by tonnes of assignments..
well, I don't know.. you tell me.. I give up thinking..

Posting for the sake of posting..

2005-11-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. nothing's happening in my life now, hence, posting for the sake of posting.. haha.. Did the module registration thingy AGAIN today, didn't get my first choice, so well, second choice will have to do.. ironically, the second choice was my initial first coice, so.. maybe it was fated after all.. but not that bad, at least I learnt that there are familiar people taking the same mod, so guess that's fine..

what else can I talk about here? don't wanna complain about my life coz frankly there's really nothing much to complain about.. life's good at the moment, no assignments pressing, no deadlines looming.. but this is like so surreal.. like one moment everything was squeezing the last breath, the last drop of blood out of you and suddenly, the blood's flowing normally, u can enjoy healthy lungfuls of air..

guess this always happens after the adrenalin rush of assignments and exams.. after everything, there's this overwhelming sense of loss that can't seem to be filled in that instant.. things take time to come back to you, and when you're really starting to enjoy the free time, the sem starts again and that sense of breathlessness comes back again.. can't really say which one I enjoy more, but I guess I rather feel lost than breathless.. at least I'm breathing..

so well, yeah, I'm breathing normally again, so usually when that happens, whatever I blog is crap, and so if you don't take notice of this post, I won't blame you.. if you do take notice, well, there's something I can tell you.. "God, you sure are one bored person!" but at least, you're not alone.. you have me.. haha.. anyone wanna play pool? *scratches hands*

Finally!!

2005-11-02T02:21:00.000+08:00

Yeah finally, finished up the last assignment, or at least, the last assignment for now.. next one's due only end of November, so that gives me some time to breathe normally.. and oh, I finished the the riddle game as well, so that's something that deserves "finally!!" as well, and yeah, I finished that before I did my assignment.. had to get it off my mind..
so well, one sememster in NIE has officially come to a close, and seriously, what have I really learnt? I'm not too sure too.. doing lesson plans for one, loads of technical terms which I seriously doubt would ever see the light of day again, and perhaps, some other unpleasant things as well which I feel is not worth mentioning altogether..
whatever it is, this certainly means that I'm half a year closer to really teaching, and well, really having mixed feeling about it.. how I would handle it, how things might turn out, even which school I might be posted to, but hmm.. that's still sometime away, so guess I'll just enjoy my break for now without too much worries.. =P

Riddle Game??!!??

2005-10-31T05:15:00.000+08:00

was kinda blog-surfing over the weekend when I found this "interesting" riddle game.. so have been hooked on it for the past 6 hrs, or more.. some are like really great, but no, I'm not posting the link here in case people with itchy fingers decide to click on it and get hooked.. I don't want any responsibility for that..
if you're dying to find out what it is, msn me and I'll give it to you.. haha.. if not, nope.. it's too addictive.. grr.. now I'm going to sleep, to replace all those brain cells that fought a valiant battle.. the war's not won yet, but I'm working towards it.. need them for the English lesson plan assignment though.. need to get that out of the way first.. sigh..
alritey.. have a lesson tmr that's gonna be like 4 or 5 hrs, so I'd better grab some sleep now.. till then, haha.. ciaos.. =P

Rotting away..

2005-10-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how people always find things to do when they're bored.. I'm amazed because I'm not one of them.. Woke up early today to do the registration thingy only to realise now that there was an error in the system and that I'll have to do it all over again.. woke up in vain.. sigh.. oh ya, as I was saying, how do people find time to occupy their free time? I've been to the same websites countless times and they have not been updated at all.. I'm bored..
Funny how things are really.. when you have lots of things to do, you juz have even more things to do.. like when I was rushing my assignments, there were so many things that Iwanted to do.. like re-design my blog, read my books, blah blah.. but now that things have quietened down, well, my blog has a new design, a new song, and I suddenly don't feel like reading my books.. so well.. get what I mean?
I think it's weird how I function.. when I'm busy, I like to find things to do that make me busier, but when I'm free, I never seem to be able to find anything to occupy myself.. which explains why I'm here now posting.. can't find anything better to do, and thought it might help if I captured what I'm feeling now here.. maybe I can do research on it next time when I'm feeling bored again.. but well..
nothing much.. juz haven't really been feeling good for the past week I guess.. been my usual AS self, keeping to myself mostly and hiding in my room.. there are times where you just want to keep alone and not talk to anyone but a few.. don't you people have that too? it's natural, I hope, or perhaps it's juz me, and that won't exactly surprise me..
some people like to find someone to talk to when they're feeling down.. me? I seek solitary solace, find my own quiet place and iron out anything within me.. perhaps that's why I always have this emotionless face which doesn't smile.. but I'm sure anger appears clearly on my face, as some of you have unfortunatly witnessed.. that's a side of me that I've always tried suppressing, but somehow fail..
guess it's already much better than before, but typical of people like me, the flaring up is always not a nice spectacle which should be avoided at all cost.. even I don't like myself when I'm pissed off.. hmm.. guess I can keep on rambling, moving from one thing to another, but shan't bore you with my words of boredom.. want to hear more of my life story? juz tok to mi and there might be a time where I may just open up to you.. just like the special few who already have heard snippets of my story.. hah.. as I said, I'm AS.. I need people to make the first move.. **ciaos**

Another one down..

2005-10-27T06:11:00.000+08:00

Phew.. after almost 6 hrs of continuous struggle, I've finally finished with the setting of the EOA exam paper 2, complete with answers and mark scheme.. god.. never knew that setting papers would be harder than trying to do the paper itself.. makes me appreciate the exam papers that my teachers set for me last time.. RETRIBUTION!!
well, tired though I may be, it's still another load off my mind and I can sleep well tonight, hmm.. today actually, knowing that the next assignment due is next Wednesday.. (read: English Lesson Plan) that gives me some breathing space at least.. *gasp gasp*
well, the semester's drawing to a close and lessons are gonna end for this sem, so well, can't exactly say I'm not looking forward to it, yet I'm not exactly looking forward to it either.. have gotten pretty used to school life and attending tutorials and seminars with a bunch of lively (read: noisy and rowdy) people.. there might have been times where there were disagreements, and boy, were they major ones, but somehow, the liveliness that came with every class was appreciated, barely tolerable in others..
whatever it is, the hols are coming, and even though there's another major assignment due on 23/24 Nov, and the amazinGrace on 25 Nov (which means loads of work for GESL), the long break will be very much appreciated and needed.. before all that, I just have to finish up on that darned lesson plan, and I would be able to heave a sigh of relief..
anyhow, it's about time to sleep.. way past bedtime I guess.. don't want another instance where I go to bed seeing sunlight outside my window, and I don't mean the afternoon/evening sun.. well, gotta go.. nitey nitez, and good morning to those early birds.. the night owl is signing off.. *yawnz*

Waiting For You - 胡彦斌

2005-10-26T17:30:00.000+08:00

金色的舞鞋伴着音乐
Baby 你的眼睛是一弯深邃的胡水
哦忽明忽灭掩藏不可思议的美
让我眩晕在悬崖边谁知一睁眼就不见
Waiting for You I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you Kiss me at the night
为何你Cinderella 留给我一望无际的思念

Waiting for you I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you Come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you Waiting for you
直到永远

哦忽明忽灭掩藏不可思议的美
让我眩晕在悬崖边谁知一睁眼就不见
Waiting for You I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you Kiss me at the night
为何你Cinderella 留给我一望无际的思念
Waiting for you

Waiting for you Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for You I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you Kiss me at the night
为何你Cinderella 留给我一望无际的思念

Waiting for you I'm waiting for you
Waiting for you Come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you Waiting for you
Waiting for you

Strange Feelings

2005-10-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

alright, got back without getting caught in the rain, and since the weather was so nice, decided to snooze for a while.. a while turned out to be 5 hrs and when I woke up at 2230, I was like.. "Oh no.." still have an exam paper to set by Friday but haven't done anything about it at all.. but strangely, I don't seem in the mood to start at all.. (guess that won't sound strange to most who know me, but it somehow feels strange to me today)
as all the mad rushing for assignments draws to a close (I still have 2 major ones by next week), somehow there's this sense of loss.. loss of direction.. somehow there's like so many things that I wanna do during this upcoming hols which would be the longest one I'll have for quite some time to come.. (read: until retirement or I quit) but yet, everything seems so fluid now, no concrete plans when people all around me are already booking or have booked their air tix..
perhaps I really need a break, some alone time, and was thinking of maybe flying off somewhere alone to find peace within myself.. not that I'm not happy with my current situation, but just need to think things through, reconcile some differences that I think is within me.. with things moving so fast around me, I just can't seem to have the time to sit down and pinpoint these issues..
feeling strange tonight, a sense of loss, a sense of emptiness, which strikes once in a while.. never reallie know what brings them on, just know that they seriously disrupt the work flow, but puts the mood to blog in place.. don't expect an emotional outpouring though, for that is not my style.. anyway, don't know what's going on, so well, perhaps there's nothing going on at all.. =

Stuck in the Rain!!

2005-10-25T16:13:00.000+08:00

I'm now sitting in the library computer lab, furiously typing away at this post because I'm stuck in the rain.. wldn't be that free if it wasn't for that.. would rather be back in hall catching up on some much needed sleep before the next phase of assignment fever strikes me.. which is tonight I think..
usually have my trusty wind-breaker with me, but today's lesson being one which there was nothing much to do, i brought my file with a pen and that was about it.. my windbreaker stayed in my bag, and my bag stayed in my room.. so here I am, unhappily stuck..
not that I really mind it.. I like the rain, I even like walking in the rain, but my file and my phone and every other thing which I wouldn't want to get wet will get wet, so well, I don't have much of a choice there..
perhaps I should stop complaining and look at the beautiful weather outside the window.. see how wonderful the rain looks.. hang on.. woohoo.. I'm glad I looked out.. the rain seems to have become way smaller, and that probably explains why I'm typing even faster than before to get out of here.. this is perfect weather to sleep.. must appreciate, not waste it.. byeeeeeeeeeee..

Soooo tired.......

2005-10-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

hmm.. actually didn't want to post, but remembered that I promised to post more often, so here I am.. nothing much going through my mind at the moment I guess.. all brain cells that were once alive have been expended on the 9 assignments that I've completed so far.. 2 more to go for this week.. woohoo..
what I have left are probably the damaged brain cells that wouldn't do any good, that's why they're left behind.. hopefully they recover by tmr so that I can start to set my EOA paper 2.. questions not the problem, it's the mark scheme.. gonna be yet another tedious affair I can gurantee..
alritey, I'm more than 75% dead now, think I've gotta go sleep.. 0830 lecture tomorrow, no idea how I'm gonna wake up but somehow I'll drag myself up.. somehow.. siao la.. siao la.. (see, that's what damaged brain cells do to posts)

Six down, five more to go..

2005-10-21T04:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah, finished yet another of those accursed pieces of, er.., assignments la.. haha.. feeling tired definitely, but better.. at least some of those major ones are out of the way.. anyway, forgot to mention, the five more is till next Friday, but beyond that, there are still 2 more in the very near future, meaning to say.. oh well.. it's better left unsaid..
haven't slept much at all this week, but somehow I don't feel reallie tired.. guess it's the training I've got from my NUS days spill over.. would really love to start early on my assignments and finish early (not early morning of the DEADline though), but somehow, my mind just refuses to work until I'm like 12 hours away from submission time..
unless of course, it's designing a webbie.. haha.. juz did another one for educational purposes, so that's 2 I did this sem already, excluding my own blogs.. my HTML surely improving man.. but I don't know what it's for also.. not like I'm gonna go into webpage design or something..
ok, I think I'm blabbering for the sake of putting more words here.. feeling woozy suddenly.. think I'd better get some sleep before I collapse at my table.. ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg argh.. what happened? oh.. sorry sorry.. haha.. bye folks.. beauty sleep.. bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb argh.. oops..

Running on Reserves...

2005-10-20T01:20:00.000+08:00

Just did an amazing thing last night, or rather this morning.. was doing my webpage for ICT till about 4:45 in the morning, then decided to sleep, but after half an hour of tossing and turning, the feeling of uneasiness at having left an assignment half done gnawed at me and I decided to wake up and get it done..

so absorbed was I in the assignment that when I next looked out at the window, I saw sunlight.. checked my clock and it was 7am.. big deal.. but wait.. I had a lesson at 9:30 and I panicked.. was wondering whether I should carry on doing other stuff so that I would be awake for lessons, or to go sleep and take a very big risk of over-sleeping..

decided to sleep, but not before setting 3 alarms, and msging my gf to wake mi up at 9.. somehow, I didn't really manage to sleep at all and woke up on time, and to my amazement, was so wide awake during class.. maybe I should do that more often..

anyhow, that's about 4 of the 11 tasks that are done, but I'm already running on reserves.. I really wonder what else I can fall back on when these reserves are gone too.. but that's another matter for another day.. don't want to think too much about it at this moment, don't really have that much energy to think about it too..

oh ya, got my hair cut again.. first time in 4 months I think.. and it's too short again.. think I'll never have a stage in which my hair is just right.. it's always too long or too short.. damn.. not that I mind.. just that I don't understand why they don't understand the idea of trim.. not hack..

argh.. enough of all these.. not sure if I'm going back to my work after this, don't feel sleepy, but think I need to sleep.. if only humans don't need sleep.. but then again, if the lecturers know about it, they'd probably just give more assignments.. like they say,"after all, you're paid to study, to be a full-time student, you know.. so your only goal is to.. blah.. blah.." #$%^&!!

A Fallen Angel's Cries

Special Dedications..

2009.. January..

2008

Random..

Distracted again.. and again..

Another photo..

Doomsday!

juz a random thought..

Term 3 underway..

Travels..

off to bangkok..

back in sch..

Sch Hols..

GP MYE tmr..

Hold the Fort!!

Dedicated to Individual-S

What now?

Goodbye A Div 2008

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

Back maybe?

*jaded* - taking a break!

Camping in School

Updates?

Nice Song..

A title is a line of words that appear here..

Can someone help me think of a darned title?

Updates?

Reply to tag - Arts Faculty??

Where to?

Sudden Realisation

Mindless Ramblings..

Soccer Training and What Nots..

Why does my title always end with a "?"?

Back to work?

Taipei?

Catching up?

Waiting for something?

Inter JC Staff soccer..

Lost it?

Updates?

New Taggie..

Another personality test?

TGIO - Thank God It's Over..

Of markers and memories..

Reward: One Million Dollars*

New Jukey!

Post-Obs..

Busy busy busy..

Light you candle now..

Sept Hols??!!??

Lucky Number?

The Mood Swings Test?

Term 3 Week 10!! Yay!!

Jaded?

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Petrol Prices Too High La..

Teacher Power

Life in TPJC

Induction at TP

back from HK?

HK..

Updates??

Final Posting

Kiss Goodbye - 王 力 宏

大 长 今

2 more to go..

Crappy Day..

曹 操 - 林 俊 杰

CBD

Frenship..

50th post..

What is "Moving On"?

Two down, eight more to go

What would you do?

Second Week of Practicum..

Johari Window..

My Laptop, My Valentine..

Holiday Mood??

Half Dead Post

jaded - taking a break!

Kiss Goodbye - 王力宏

大长今

曹操 - 林俊杰